Saturday, November 30, 2013

Tears and Trees

This is David - I hope that everyone is enjoying their long weekend!  Staying here in the hospital, I find myself attempting to figure out things to do or ways to not go stir crazy and praying for God to use me if that is His desire.  I try to find adventures in walking circles with Grace around the 8th floor of the hospital.  Usually, I make conversation with the person that I am sharing a room with; however, this hospital stay on "the floor" has been unique.  My first night, my roommates did not speak english, but they were transferred to the CICU the next day, so I thought I was going to enjoy a room to myself, but the nurse came in to tell me that I was going to get a new roommate.  It's kind of weird, I anxiously await the new roomate and know it is going to be a little awkward at first, and I often hope that they will be cool, but mostly I hope and pray that God uses me in some capacity to be a light for Christ to my roommate.   There is little privacy between the roommates, we share a bathroom, the only thing separating us is a thin curtain between the two cribs, and I end up learning everything about the other patient because the nurses and doctors come in and talk about treatment plans, and somehow the sound travels through the sound proof curtains (so much for patient privacy).  I'm not sure what God's plans are this time, or if He wants to use me at all, because my roommates are here from Russia and the little boy's nanny is staying with him and she doesn't speak a word of English.  She enjoys talking to Grace, then she'll tell me something and I will nod my head; sometimes she will bring me her cell phone or iPad and ask me for some sort of technical assistance, but all the writing on her devices is in Russian as well, so I fear that I'm not much assistance; she will bring over her iPad when she's skyping with someone and she will say my name in a very thick Russian accent and show me to the person that she's talking with and I will give an awkward smile and say hi.  Please pray for my roommate Lucia and that if God wants to use me somehow, that He is able to do so and that I am a willing participant, even under these odd circumstances.

A wonderful interruption to the monotony of the day came when Kristi's VP from her division (the same woman who worked so hard to ensure that we were able to get insurance coverage to get a medical flight to Boston) and her husband showed up at the hospital unexpectedly.  They were traveling back home to New York from Maine and were nice enough to stop by the hospital and bring Grace and I some goodies.  I received some much needed hygiene products, snacks, and gift card to Au Bon Pain, while Grace received a new bow and a card and well-crafted Christmas ornament, both made by the niece of Kristi's VP.  Thank you very much for the blessed visit and treats!

It's me-  When I received this picture from David, it gave me a much needed smile!  I love her precious headband (thank you Kristen and Jim!!!), those beautiful eyes and smile remind me of God's faithfulness.  Only He could create such an amazingly resilient little angel.  Grace so freely loves, forgives, and blesses despite ALL that she has been through.  15 months ago, before she was born, I was mortified about what our lives were going to look like raising a child with Up's and major heart defects.  It is hard to type this, but I was less than excited about having a special needs child and there was a point where I thought it would be easier if God took her home before having to endure, what seemed like such a cruel life.  Fast forward 15 months and this journey has been way worse than I even imagined, in terms of circumstances, but way more magnificent that I could have ever dreamed.  I once feared raising a child with Up's, now I'm just so afraid that I won't get to raise my Gracie Doo with Up's.  David and I find great joy in seeing pictures of other kids with Up's, or seeing them in person is even more exciting.  We literally want to say to their parents "We have one too!!!"  (it's such a treasure that it's hard to explain unless you have a special needs child) with the worlds biggest grin or we just hope for a chance to interact with the child or adult with Up's.  Something that I've struggled with lately is that I find myself trying to avoid pictures of children with Up's (specifically on Facebook) because my heart breaks when I think about not getting to see Gracie at some of those precious ages.  I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know that when I reflect on God's faithfulness to date, I'm reminded that I can trust Him for my tomorrow.  We focus on just taking another joyful step to get through each day and today was no different.  The kids and I spent the day decorating the house and our new little Christmas tree.  We had a great time, but there is no question that David and Grace's absence was certainly felt in a big way.  We took a break from decorating to go get lunch and run a couple errands and when I looked at Abby in the back seat, she was crying.  When I asked her what was wrong, she said, through big tears, "I just really miss Daddy and Gracie!"  Luckily, we were just down the street from our lunch designation, so I could quickly park and share a big hug and good cry with her.  We were able to praise God that we do miss them so much because if we didn't miss them, it would mean that we must not love and enjoy them very much and it will make our reunion that much more special.  

Here is our sweet little Christmas tree…  

Sweet Village, we love, appreciate, and need you!  Will you please continue to cover us in prayer? THANK YOU!!!  (((BIG HUGS))) 

GRACIE STRONG (in God's strength)!!!

No comments: