Summer and beyond... update on the horse!

Helllllloooo our sweet Army!

I think about, pray for, and praise the Lord for y'all often! The way you have prayed us through the darkest of days and rejoiced with us on the brightest of days is never far from my mind.  I wanted to give you a quick update, since my last post, on what God has been up to over the past couple months.

Summer and beyond:
We had a crazy busy summer, filled with lots of great memories:  A grown ups only vaca in Costa Rica (the trip we won in the raffle at the Gigi's Playhouse Gala last year), Toga party in Corpus Christi for a TOKC fundraiser (where an amazing family paid $5,000 in a live auction for a pomeranian puppy and then gave it to Andrew), officiating the wedding of two dear friends, our 7th year at Pine Cove Family Camp (best family vaca ever), soccer in Colorado, Family Reunion in Branson, awards trip in Park City, Utah, Abby and Andrew meeting up with family friends in Tennessee and then all of us meeting together in Louisiana, and to cap off the summer....  ANDREW'S MAKE A WISH WAS GRANTED!!!

Costa Rica did not disappoint!

Our favorite pediatric cancer foundation, Triumph Over Kid Cancer's fundraiser! 

Still can't believe we were blessed with this little guy, Rocket Chase Ross!

Can you tell, I'm SO SUPER excited for these two?!?!  After introducing them a year earlier, it was truly an honor to marry them!

FMILY CAMP!!! Year 6!!!

Family Reunion in Branson, while Abby and I were at a soccer tournament in Colorado...

Since David took Andrew and Grace to the reunion, I only got 2 pics from the whole trip😜!

These girls crushed it at Nationals!  They made it to the semi-finals (lost in over time), playing up an age group!

 The one pic I got of Abby playing, thanks to another mom taking it!

Team bonding with some white water rafting!

Besties reunited at the airport in Tennessee (just missing Glo Glo)!  This was Abby and Andrew's first time flying all by themselves!  They did great!

Amazing 9 mile hike in stunning, Park City, Utah!

***A SUPER SPECIAL DAY....ANDREW'S MAKE A WISH!!!***

The day Andrew got his Wish granted!!!

A boy and his horse (from just this weekend)...

Otto doesn't love playing soccer, but he will do it.

The first time Andrew taught Otto to jump...

Catching a ride back to the barn after catching Otto in the pasture one day...

Abby loves Otto as much as Andrew does... she's become quite a little barn girl when she's not on the soccer field!  Andrew and Abby have taught Otto how to run barrels... and Grace walks the barrels course :-)!

Only God could have known how much Andrew needed a horse in his life and really, how much our whole family needed this horse in our lives.  As I've shared previously (I think), when Andrew was little he was always a major mama's boy.... once Andrew was diagnosed with cancer and on SO many pain meds around the clock (including multiple narcotics), we saw a change in his personality that made him very hard to connect with, especially for me.  I'm not a very creative person, so trying to get into his world often times felt impossible.  I missed my boy so much during this time and had to fight the thoughts that maybe God was putting distance between us during a time all I wanted was to draw near to him to protect my heart for when he called him home.  Once Andrew was able to come off the narcotics (praise the Lord), we saw his personality return to normal, but I still yearned to find a way to connect with him like we use to, when it was so easy and came so natural.  This precious horse and the stables it is boarded at (Carroll Stables), has been beyond anything I could have even thought to pray for.  I absolutely love going to the barn with Andrew, it is our happy place (totally a God thing, since you know I'm not someone who loves a whole lot of dirt and being around horses... is not a dirt free environment ;-).  The owners of the barn have become like family in just a few short months.  They have taught us so much about caring for a horse, they take amazing care of Otto (and all the horses at the barn.... those horses are all living their best life now), have taught Andrew how to throw a rope (lasso), Grace is always looking for Mrs. Jody, so she can help her around the barn or just talk her ear off, we get to go on family trail rides, and really, they just love us well.  Pine Cove couldn't have leased us a more perfect horse (for our family).  Otto is 17 years old and works hard for Andrew, whether he's teaching him how to kick a big soccer ball, do an obstacle course, jump, run barrels, or just go really fast (Andrew's favorite thing to do), but he's equally amazing if Grace and Abby ride him.  David and I love riding him too, even though we usually just ride after the kids (so we are riding in a kids saddle).

One more thing that is an extra little hug from God is the drive to the barn...  the barn is about 25 minutes from our house, but it is such a beautiful drive, complete with a painted sky (especially during sunset) that boasts of God's majesty.  The drive to the barn is always a great time chatting with the kids, listening to worship music, or just talking to God.  Andrew's Make A Wish gift has been such a tremendous gift to our family in SO many ways.  I did my best to give you a glimpse of what the blessing means to us, but it really feels impossible to articulate.  We only have Otto until the end of May and then Otto has to go back to Pine Cove to work over the summer for camp.  The kids will often say, "I can't imagine not having Otto in our lives anymore.  I hate to even think about it!"  Then, I know they are really hoping we can get Otto back after he is done working for the summer, but by that time the Make A Wish gift will be over (the gift was boarding and vet for Otto for 9 months) and owning/leasing a horse isn't cheap 😬.  I have to be honest, when I think too much about it, I sort of get anxious at the thought, so I have to choose to give it to God and trust that He will either change our hearts or provide a way for us to get Otto back.  Will you please join us in prayer about God's will?  I know it sounds silly to already be worried about that, since we have still have 7 months left with Otto, but it's a reality that's already on everyone's heart.

ABBY- playing for the u13 Houston Dash DA (soccer continues to be her happy place), loves Logo's (this school couldn't be a more perfect fit for her), and is still my little (big) side kick.  Having a sibling with special needs makes for a pretty amazing human, but it also requires a lot of sacrifice and potential issues that, if you aren't hyperaware of, could be overlooked.  For instance, studies show that kiddos of a sibling with special needs often times are perfectionists because they don't want to mess up and cause more stress on the family, they may feel over looked, may feel like they don't want to share their feelings/stress because they know their parents are already stretched so thin, etc.  You take that reality and multiply it by two because both of her siblings have special needs of some sort.  Therefore, we pray often about how to best pour into Abby and make sure she gets the time and attention she needs.  One way we have found to be super helpful is making sure there is time for me to take her on a lunch or dinner date 1-2 times per week.  I pray about what topics God wants me to talk to her about on our dates and He is faithful to answer that prayer every time (whether I go into our dates with a topic on my heart or let it organically come up).  The time spent with her in the car driving to and from soccer is also a great time to connect with her one on one.  I know we are quickly approaching the teenage years, so we pray that God preserves her, keeping her the sweetheart she is now, despite any teenage hormones.  A peak into this girl's heart...  you know Abby hates when David and I are away overnight, so us going to Costa Rica for 5 nights without her was a big step for all of us.  When we came home, I found this as Abby's screen saver and she hasn't changed it yet (even though her friends often ask her "why do you have your mom as your screen saver?" 😂😂😂).

ANDREW- pain has been well controlled on only 3 pain meds.  He is thriving in school (even though he is still playing catch up from the 2 years of school that he missed most of from being in treatment, too much pain to go to school, sleeping through most of the day at school because of all the pain meds he was on, etc).  He is going to play basketball this winter.  Last time he played basketball is before he was diagnosed and he would get random bouts of tummy pain that made him have to sit out at times. Next scan is in December. He still has weekly playdates with his best friend, Mr Alan, and plays daily with his buddy, Christian, who lives down the street.  This is big because Christian would knock on the door daily when Andrew was in really bad shape (from cancer), asking if Andrew could play, and I would have to tell him that Andrew couldn't because he was sleeping (Andrew would come home from school, when he went to school, and crash, sleeping much of the afternoon and then going to bed at 7:30 pm.... his poor little body).  To see Andrew get to play hard outside is a gift we don’t take for granted.
***PRAYER REQUEST- Andrew's next MRI scan is on Dec 23rd, will you please pray for no progression what so ever? Also, Andrew had a lot of tears one night this weekend because he hates having cancer and the fact that he has to take so many meds and if he forgets his meds (like he did one morning last week), he has to deal with unbearable pain. Naturally, he gets discouraged when thinking about what his cancer is up to (is it growing, when will it start to grow again, will I always have cancer, will I die from cancer.....).  He is so rock solid in his faith, but there are moments when the “what if” monster sneaks in and tries to steal his joy and hope.  We all just snuggled him in bed and tried to honor his feelings (we want him to have a safe place to voice those thoughts, so we can help him process those fears and not ever think that having those thoughts makes him any less strong in his faith, brave, or that it’s too much for us to bear) and share with him that the enemy attacks us in the same way.  As a family, we talked through the truths found in scripture, reminded ourselves of who God is (His character), and looked back at ALL that God has seen us through thus far (we know He won’t quit now). These types of conversations are SO hard... like SOOOOO hard (who wants to talk to their baby about their mortality and the sin in the world that he is experiencing first hand), but at the same time... it’s like going to the gym and lifting heavy weights... faith weights. Those conversations spur us on, keep us in fighting shape, recalibrate our hearts, and unite our hearts to the One that is all powerful, all loving, all knowing, and always good. Will you please also pray that Andrew (and the rest of us) would continue to root his hope and joy in the Lord and not be led by a spirit of fear? THANK YOU!!!

GRACE- still loving cheerleading at Apex cheer gym!  She fractured her wrist at cheerleading, so she's out for a couple weeks, but can't wait to go back.  Going to the ER for a normal child injury versus a scare with Grace's heart, lungs, etc, is a little refreshing and gives perspective.  We hate that she hurt herself, but it was like "great, wrap that wrist up and we will be on our way!"  She hasn't let her splint slow her down a bit and she never complains about it.  Grace isn't doing her horse back riding therapy at this time because she is busy doing "therapy" on Otto.  I can't believe how brave she has become.  Otto is much bigger than the pony she use to ride and she rides him all by herself, bareback and all!  She continues to LOVE school and is crushing 1st grade in an inclusion class with support 90 minutes a day (in class) with the amazing Mrs. Jones (she was Grace's aid last year too).

KRISTI- I could use prayers for February 22nd, 3 years since Andrew was diagnosed and that is the timeline his Oncologist gave us for how long he thought Andrew would live.  We have expectant hope and trust that the Lord will make a way for Andrew to live a long life and we'll never stop praying for a miracle of complete healing or that he could live to be an old man with this cancer being managed as a chronic condition versus a life sentence.  In March, it'll be two years since his last round of PRRT (radiation treatment that has never been done in a child before, but it was our only hope) and 2-2.5 years is the median progression free survival in the PRRT studies (the average time when/until a patient progresses).  We use to feel like we would be so grateful if Andrew's disease could be stable for 2-2.5 years, but that time has flown by and I am starting to have a little anxiety; I don't want this sweet time to end, where breakthrough pain isn't a regular part of our every day life, acting as an in your face reminder that his body is riddled with cancer.  We will fight to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and continue to change our "what if's" to "even if's".  #butGod #hopeon #Heisourhope

DAVID- he said he could use prayers in preparing for his goal of running 150 miles in the Snowdrop Ultra 55 hour race at the end of this year.  The difference this year is that he knows what he is getting himself into; therefore, training has not been nearly as enjoyable, as he knows the impending doom coming his way (when ever fiber in your body hurts).

If you have made it to the end of this update, you are AMAZING and we really appreciate your support for our family!  In hopes of making you smile, here is one of my new favorite videos ever (it's only 3 seconds, but it's a great life lesson)... this was taken this weekend at Gigi's Playhouse Sugar Land's Trunk or Treat.

When all else fails... just shake it!!!!!!!!

You're never going to believe this one...

Hellooooo strangers!  I have to start with a giant apology first, every time I quickly post an update on the kids or our family on Facebook, I always intend to post updates on the blog too because I know some of you are not on Facebook, but I inevitably forget every. single. time!  Please forgive me!

The Ross family circus has continued to be full of high wire, trapeze, and lion taming acts, one after another, but God continues to be faithful through it all!  I will give you a super fast run down of what's gone on the past 6 months (sigh... that was so long ago, sorry) and then I really need your prayers and input on a major topic we are praying through.

Abby-  God has called Abby to go to a private Christian school next year (TOTALLY EVIDENCE OF GOD CHANGING HER HEART).  The school is a university model, so she will go to school 3 days a week and homeschool 2 days a week, which will give her a lot more flexibility and time with the family since she is so busy with soccer.  Abby continues to LOVE soccer and is excited about playing on the u13 Dash DA team next year (it's the highest level soccer you can play at her age, so it's been a goal of hers).  She just had her last day of 6th grade on June 6th and the messages I read in her yearbook make me one grateful mama.  A number of kids wrote how much she has impacted their lives in a positive way, helping them to make better choices and care about things that matter.  While she may have just missed national honors society, etc, we continue to affirm her for being a light to those around her.

Grace- she crushed Kindergarten this year, finishing at or exceeding all expectations/requirements for typical developing Kindergarteners.  I couldn't be more proud of her and grateful for everyone that played a role in her success.  So many people (teachers and students alike) pour into her every single day and yet they share how blessed they are by knowing her.  Grace is continuing to ride horses over the summer, will do a couple weeks of summer school, and her favorite of all... have her sissy tutor her.

***HERE IS WHERE WE NEED YOUR PRAYERS AND INSIGHT- Andrew had a great 4th grade year.  He only missed a hand full of days this year because of pain, Dr's appointments, or being sick, which is truly amazing.  His pain has been well controlled, with random spurts of pain here and there that seems to come out of nowhere.  He has had days where he has felt "woozy" mid morning at school, when the nurse has checked his blood sugar it has been low, so she's given him juice and crackers and he has felt better.  It breaks my heart to think that he could be developing diabetes at such a young age because of his cancer, which is obviously impacting his pancreas or as a result of the shot he has to get monthly to try to slow down tumor progression.  We will start checking his glucose more regularly and follow up with his oncologist to come up with a plan, so I'll keep you posted on that.  His next scan is scheduled for June 25th, will you PLEASE pray that his disease continues to be stable?

Andrew has been riding horses for the past year and we have found that it is such a perfect fit for him because it requires exercise, in the sense that he uses his core a whole lot, and it takes a lot of courage (which he has a ton of).  There is something about horses that brings him so much joy, peace, and confidence.  He even loves taking care of the horse before and after he rides.  There are intimate parts of this story that are hard for me to type, so please bear with me... So, we were suppose to go on a Make A Wish trip for Andrew in 2017, but had to reschedule it because Andrew was approved for PRRT treatment right before and we needed to jump on the opportunity, so we rescheduled the trip for 2018.  However, again we had to cancel it because Andrew was in so much pain at the time that we didn't want to take him on a trip that he wouldn't be able to enjoy because he was hunched over and throwing up from pain.  We tabled the Make a Wish trip until we were in a better place, so we just started praying and talking about what Andrew wants to do for his MAW trip again.  You see, the last two times we talked to Andrew about what his wish would be, he was on a ton of pain meds and really not himself in so many ways.  The past 6-7 months have been an experience I will never take for granted... we have seen our boys personality return, since coming off a lot of the really heavy duty pain meds.  It makes my heart ache thinking about the 2 years we spent trying to help Andrew feel as "normal" as possible when his life was anything but normal and it was hard to remember what his personality was really like because the kid in front of us was so often in a manic state (I intended to explain further, but its still a little raw to go there at the moment, so more details to come at a later date).  It was painful to watch his best friend (Abby) fall apart inside over and over as she would try to connect with him like she always had and constantly be faced with the reality that he was just different now.  There was a spoken and unspoken sadness that we were losing our Bubba, our Buddy, My Boy, physically and emotionally.  It was so super hard to reconcile.  All the while, Andrew was still the same great kid, with an amazing heart, but in the battle for his life (literally) and a battle for his sense of self.  He knew he was different, but he couldn't do anything about it (the pain meds were necessary to keep him comfortable).  After his 4th round of PRRT, we felt like we were at a place where we could start weaning him off of some of the crazy, heavy duty pain meds in hopes of getting our boy back (ever so slowly... it was almost a 5 month process to get him off of the really heavy ones) and we were dealing with a lot of rebound pain, etc (we would wean down and have to go back up, try to go down again, and go back up, etc).  During this time he began horse back riding.  It was through horse back riding that we witnessed improved pain control, increased confidence, courage, and so much more in Andrew.

There are 3 more things that weigh on our hearts heavily...  We spend a lot of time on the soccer field with Abby.  It's easy to connect with Abby around soccer because of her passion for it and because we both enjoy sports a lot.  It has been hard to find ways to connect with Andrew (for us and his friends) over the years for various reasons (one obvious one being the different world his pain meds had him in), but the reality is, Andrew doesn't love competitive sports very much (this is probably a blessing, since cancer would keep him from being able to do them in many ways because of the heat and physical exertion, which he can do, but doesn't have near the endurance his peers do), he knows he is different because of his diagnosis (he lives with realities and experiences other kids can't relate to), so we have to be creative in trying to find ways to get into his world.  Horse back riding is one way that we can get into his world!  While we spend a lot of money on Andrew's health, we want to be able to invest time and money into something he loves, since he obviously doesn't love being treated for cancer and that will be his reality as long as he's on this side of heaven, as there isn't a cure for his type of cancer.  This brings me to the biggest and hardest point to type... In many ways, I feel like Andrew's 5th grade year is monumental because February 22nd of this next school year marks the time frame his Oncologist told us he would likely no longer be with us.  I so badly want to forget that statement (in addition to the "we are just kicking the can down the road" statement), but the enemy won't let me; therefore, I have to lay that date, that statement on the alter daily and remind myself that God is the author of this story and nobody else!

This is the place we find ourselves when we began discussing with Andrew what he wanted to do for his MAW trip next year and he says "I don't want to go anywhere, I just really want a horse."  We have tried to sell him on any trip or experience under the sun, but there is no question a horse is the deepest desire of his heart (even when we make the responsibility of a horse sound dreadful).

Here is where you come in, will you please join us in praying about how to handle Andrew's request?  We love the idea of allowing Andrew to be all in on his passion like Abby gets to do with hers and for us to have something we can do alongside Andrew (spend time at the barn, etc) more than just an hour a week.  BUT it sounds SO overwhelming and unrealistic.  While MAW would cover some of the expenses, like the horse and some initial vet bills, etc, this is a long term (expensive) commitment.  It's hard to picture how in the world we could afford the equivalent of another car payment.  In addition to praying for wisdom for us, please pray that God would align Andrew's heart with His will.  Also, we would love any insight y'all have to offer.  If you are a horse person or know someone that is, we would welcome your insight and advice... PLEASE!  You can comment on the blog, message David or I on facebook, email us, or call us.  Thank you for riding this roller coaster with us always!  We are literally sustained by your prayers, so please keep bringing our family before the throne because our God hears, sees, and cares deeply for His children and their requests!  #butGod #hopeon