One of the hardest parts about the last three weeks since our little Kitty has been born is the uncertainty of everyday... When we go into to the hospital to see Grace in the morning I never know what we will walk in to or when we call to check on her in the middle of the night, I never know what kind of report we are going to get. As I mentioned before, it feels like we take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back... at the end of last week her blood pressure was high and that was a concern, now this morning I find out that her blood pressure is too low (45/20 ish) and so they are trying to figure out the cause. They were doing an echo when I called to see if there has been a decline in her heart function and we were told when we called in the middle of the night that she was very agitated and couldn't be consoled, so they assumed it was pain and had to give her morphine. That alone kills me to hear because our little Kitty really only fusses if she has a dirty diaper, so what ever was causing her discomfort must have been pretty bad. I know that God is not surprised by all of the turn of events that have taken place, so we will continue to rest, trust and hope in His perfect power, peace and provision. Will you please pray that we feel God's embrace during those times when we are tempted to doubt and fear. Please also pray that Kitty's heart is functioning stronger than ever and that the low blood pressure is due to something easily fixed like the tweaking of her medication.
As I was driving home a few minutes ago, I saw a man mowing his lawn very slowly and as I got closer to him, I noticed that he walked with a significant limp and it appeared that his left arm was immobile as he carried it close to his chest. I was amazed and so proud of him for serving his family by mowing the lawn even though it took him far more time and effort than it takes most able bodied folks. He had to steer the lawn mower with one hand while trying to keep his balance due to his limp. I felt like he was the perfect visual for how I feel this morning. I'm limping along, barely getting the job done (for me it's not mowing the lawn, but instead trying to serve my family well in this time where I feel like I'm being pulled in all different directions, while seeing one of my little angels fight for her life over and over again), but in my pain and exhaustion I'm reminded what God says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Then Paul goes on to say... "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." I'm grateful that I don't have to do it in my own strength because my Heavenly Daddy is all powerful and can never out love or out give me (or you :-).
Thank you for your prayers this morning, I really need them :-)