God's Fingerprints...

As I'm typing, Abby is at soccer (where she spends much of her time) and Andrew and Grace are dressed up (Andrew is the Sherif and I'm not certain what Grace is....  she has on googles, gloves, a nerf gun, and is carrying around a stuffed horse🤔) and playing make believe.  It's like a real life Toy Story episode and my mama heart loves it on so many levels.  The fact that the kids love playing together, everyone is healthy enough to play together like "normal" kids, and that in my feeble efforts to practice "resting" (more on that in a minute) I'm able to quiet my heart and mind enough to see God's hand at work right in front of my eyes.  

I didn't get a pic of those two playing dress up, but here they are while on vacation... Grace smothering her Bubba with kisses.  Abby always wants to hug him too and while he acts too cool much of the time, I know he loves being deeply loved by his sisters.  

Since my last post, Andrew had his 3rd treatment, we ran the Snowdrop 55 Hour Relay Race, had an amazing Christmas (thanks in large part to our Candlelighter's family), went on our first family ski trip to Park City, Utah, and now we are gearing up for Andrew's 4th, and Lord willing, final round of the investigational radiation treatment.  I would hope to share a couple quick updates and prayer requests, that I pray will be an encouragement to you as we all continue to navigate these CrAzY and uncertain times.  Let me start by saying that one benefit of knowing suffering very intimately is that you know, that you know, that you know, no matter how uncertain times are, we serve a God that is certainly (and consistently) good... He only knows how to be good... He can do all things, but fail (I love that song by CeCe Winans called Never Lost), so we can trust that our pain is not in vain.  Here are a couple ways we have seen God's hand in the details of this holiday season:

1)  The Snowdrop 55 Hour Relay race was virtual this year, but somehow it was just as amazing as the actual/live race... different, but equally as amazing.  We so missed the power of the Snowdrop community as you slug it out on that course with hundreds of others that are also pushing their bodies to its breaking point, with the visual and mental pictures of all the kiddos that are battling or have fought the good fight with cancer and when you want to give up or slow down, you remember all that these kiddos have to endure and they don't have the choice not to, they don't have the promise that after 55 hours their pain will be relieved, there is no medal... they are literally in the fight for their life and cancer will change their lives in every way (and their family's lives) forever.  We obviously know this reality first hand because we live the battle, but it is not lost on us that it is an incredible gift that so many precious friends choose to spend their New Years running this race in Andrew's honor  While we were only 40 runners total for our virtual race this year, our Andrew's Army teams and Team Gabi brought the heat and the fun.  Our fast team (which David and Abby ran on) had a goal of 350 miles total and they crushed that goal, totaling 380 miles!  Our other two teams also logged some impressive mileage (about 250 miles each) and it was awesome to have so many friends on the course at all times (since it was right in our neighborhood) and we had a super fun New Year's Eve celebration as we cheered on the runners that closed out the race at midnight.  Here is another way God showed up and showed off... this is the first year that Andrew was well enough to actually run on a team.  Last year he joined us for a couple runs and crushed 5 miles total, that was such a huge accomplishment.  This year, I ran the first hour shift with him and he was going hard and quickly realizing that his body was already hurting, getting sore...  I explained to him how that's part of the power of the race, we all know that our bodies are going to break down along the way and the sleep deprivation will mess with you, but we count it as an honor to demonstrate grit, enduring the pain as a way to honor him and other kiddos battling cancer.  In essence I told him... this is just the beginning of the pain, so you have to make a decision if you are going to lean into it or let it control you.  That was the last time he even mentioned pain or fatigue... he ended up running 21 MILES total!!!  He would have run more if he had the opportunity.  That is all God!  Abby and David both ran 38 miles, and I ran 31 miles.  The 2020 race is one that I will never soon forget.  

                                     

                                     

All three of us kicked off the race by taking the first hour shift.  This is where Andrew realized that this was going to be much harder than he had anticipated, but decided to lean into the pain and embrace the challenge wholeheartedly.  Andrew and I ran 5 miles this first shift, that's the total number of miles he ran in last years race.  Abby would just pass us over and over again (she would crush 7+ miles each shift), we cheered her on every time we would see her and Andrew started to realize just how hard his sister pushes herself in his honor.  It was a very special moment to see Andrew's eyes be open in so many cool ways.   

                                               

One of our favorite traditions... our 2 am run in the middle of the night!

                                     

Couldn't have been more proud of this guy... he pushed himself HARD for all five of his one hour shifts.  He ran with David in the middle of the night and brought one of our dogs, Emme, with him because the meds he's on can make his already very vivid imagination even more vivid, so the dark is not his friend to say the least (Emme gave him a sense of security). Since David was running on the fast team, they didn't run together, but they would run by each other often. 

                                                  

Grace was the best cheerleader EVER!  She has endless high fives and encouraging words to give! 

                                      

                                        

We are missing a bunch of teammates in this pic, but we adore and appreciate every last one of them.  We are also incredibly grateful for the always SO generous shirt sponsors... GURU, JUPITER, and JAPANEIRO'S!!!  These are three of our favorite restaurants because it is great food owned and operated by great people, but now more than ever.... let's support small businesses as they try to keep their doors open and serve their customers with excellence despite an impossible situation with this crazy pandemic.  

                                       

2)  The kids Christmas gift was a ski trip to Park City, Utah.  They have always wanted to go skiing and we have just put it off for multiple reasons... number one, we wanted everyone to be healthy enough to go and we always worry about Grace's heart at an elevation.  We would never live at a high elevation because it just requires Grace's heart to work harder and that could be risky, since that wonky heart of hers doesn't work like a "normal" heart.  Her Cardiologist gave us the green light to travel to an elevation and just encouraged us to keep an eye on Grace to make sure she acclimates ok, which is no problem because we always travel with our pulse ox (to measure her oxygen saturations) and check to make sure her gums are pink, cap refills are good, she's not retracting when breathing, etc.  We were originally suppose to go to Breckenridge, CO, but changed locations because of all of their covid restrictions.  We ended up going to Park City, UT and it wasn't until we were home that we learned that UT has a significantly lower elevation than Breckenridge, making the change in our plans a great one (but God).  All that to say, Grace's heart didn't have any problems and everyone was safe and healthy (praise the Lord).  Grace had her own one on one ski lesson everyday through the National Adaptive Sports organization; it was not cheap, but money well spent.  Grace fell in love with skiing and fell in love with Little John, her instructor.  Little John took Grace on the big ski lift and down mountains that felt like Mt Everest to me (in terms of Grace going down them) and she killed it.  They took breaks for snow balls fights, to sit and chat, and to build snow castles.  The big kids wanted to be the first and the last on the lift everyday (we skied for 4 days) and I was reminded that while David's waaaaay to daring antics stress me out, we are a good balance because he was able to take the kids on runs that they were totally ready for, but outside of my comfort zone for them.  David would take them to do things that would scare me, while Grace and I had play dates in the afternoons on the bunny slopes and then the kids would be so excited to show me all they learned and the blues they were skiing with David the day before.  What a treat to have had a morning to ski with just David and a lot of time for David and I to ski with just the big kids (while Grace was in ski school).  Our evenings were relaxing as we played family games by the fire (and Grace was Grace... cracking us all up) and mornings were spent doing a  family devotional with the most glorious view.  While we went hard during the day while the lifts were open, the purposeful time of relaxation was a gift I didn't even know I needed. 

Our view (pic does not do it justice... at all) during our morning family devotions...

                                                

We rode this gondola a bunch and it never got old... every time Grace thought it was like a ride at Disneyland.

                                     

                                      

                                                

                                     

                                                

Grace's snow alligator!

                                       

Best vacation ever!!!

God has been talking to me about "resting" for a while now.  I've realized that I don't "rest" well... at all...  I don't watch tv shows (outside of soccer and football), movies, or read (outside of the bible, devotionals, or books on how to be a better wife, mom).  While this might sound really righteous, it is absolutely not and I'm learning it isn't sustainable either.  I've learned that this trait has grown out of a life spent in survival mode for the past 8.5 years.  It has gotten to a point that I can't sit and relax because I feel like there is always something more "productive" that I could be doing.  I want to be purposeful about every minute of my day, and while that is good, when it comes to pouring into my relationship with the Lord, David, the kids, and work.... it is equally as important that I'm purposeful about "resting" and allowing the Lord to renew my heart, mind, and body and not feel guilty about it.  It's such a simple concept, after all GOD RESTED...  He GAVE us a day of rest!  If God did it and clearly provided it for us (He obviously knows our needs since He created us), why would I be so ignorant to think that I don't need it.  Well, I've always known I need it, I guess I just forgot how to do it.... the enemy gets so loud and makes me feel like I am being lazy and am forsaking someone or something if I'm not always being purposeful and productive (my definition of purposeful and productive) with every minute of the day.  I hear friends talk about binge watching TV shows/movies or reading all these books and it sounds like a foreign language to me, I can't even wrap my brain around how to build that into my life without being mentally tortured that I'm wasting precious time.  God used our time in Utah to help me see how to purposefully "rest" and I'm trying to continue to apply those precious lessons.  This is why I started this blog post, to acknowledge the beauty of listening to the kids play and soaking it in, instead of making a mental note of it, praising God for it quickly, and then moving on.  

That last paragraph might sound crazy and hard to relate to, but it's what God is teaching me in this season of life and I'm trying to be a good student.  Like all the lessons taught in God's classroom, it isn't easy because it confronts my self made principles and calls me to die to what I feel is right and noble and embrace what God says, even though it feels contrary to what I find rational... don't do what will help me to check items off my endless "to do list" and ease my fear of dropping a ball and instead, just sit and relax, letting my mind sit idle?!?!  I'm discovering that prayerfully allowing myself to be idle (I like that word because it's not totally off/disconnected, but it's not moving one direction or the other either) allows me to see and appreciate His character on display all around us (we miss it if we aren't purposeful about seeing it) so much more.  An image of His character that will forever have new meaning to me, is the awe of a snowflake.  One afternoon in Utah, Grace and I were catching snowflakes on our gloves.  As the snow fell, we were determined to catch the biggest snow "chunk" we could find, but it didn't take long before we started to notice these tiny, but awesome little snowflakes that fell right along with what looked like just chunks of snow.  These snowflakes would fall on our gloves and sit there long enough for us to analyze them and marvel at the God who created them... not just a God that is creative and powerful enough to create something so fragile and yet with such intricate detail, but a God that cares so much for His people that He would want to create something beautiful just to bless us.  It's not like we need beautiful snowflakes for survival (yes, we need snow that melts into water that ultimately serves as a major resource for our survival, but it doesn't have to involve beautiful snowflakes), I think He created them (and all the other beautiful aspects of His creation that we get to lay our eyes on) because it reveals something to us about Him... He is a powerful, creative, beautiful, gracious, and thoughtful God that cares about the details because it's in those details that He speaks to our hearts in a way that feels like a personalized love note.  A note that reminds us He sees and He cares.  I pray you are reminded today (and everyday) that you are seen and known by our amazing Heavenly Daddy! 

While I didn't get a pic of the snowflakes, Grace did get a lot of random selfies of our play dates in the afternoon 😂

                                             

3)  We spent a little time with Abby during Christmas break researching colleges, since she is working towards coming up with a list of the top 15-20 schools she would like to attend/play soccer at (some being stretch goals, some reasonable goals, and some that may not be her top choice, but she would still be willing to consider).  How did we get here... the realization that my little bestie only has (Lord willing) 4.5 years under our roof is sobering and has sure recalibrated my heart and priories in a hurry.  We are tempted to believe that we always have more time, but time is a funny thing... 

Time is free, but it's priceless

You can't own it, but you can use it

You can't keep it, but you can spend it

Once you've lost it, you can never get it back

-Harvey Mackay 

As I have prayed about having God honoring balance in my life (this, in conjunction with practicing "rest," are my priorities for 2021), God used this real world reminder of how quickly time flies, coupled with the reality that we are all too familiar with... tomorrow isn't promised, to drive me to my knees and seek His guidance as to how to best allocate my time and attention this year (and every year really) in lieu of continuing to allow ourselves to live in survival mode.  It is such a gift to watch Abby fiercely pursue her dreams with such grit and determination, so we will continue to join her in praying for God's will for her present and future and praise Him all along the way.  Proverbs 3:5-6

4)  Andrew's next treatment is scheduled for February 5th.  We are anxious for scan results because they will be a clear indicator as to how much impact we can expect from this treatment.  We are badly praying for complete healing and we ask that you approach the throne with the same hope and confidence.  Andrew's hair has started shedding and he's been a bit self conscious about it, however, I don't think the average person would even notice.  He has a lot of hair come out when he is in the shower and David and I can certainly tell when we help him style his hair.  Will you please pray that he doesn't lose any more hair for the 4th round of treatment?  Andrew's leg is healing.... slowly.  They will need to surgically cut out the area that was infected because it's the only way to truly eradicate this extremely difficult-to-treat infection, however, it's location makes that hard.  It's on a part of his leg where the skin is very tight, so they are worried that if they cut it out now at the current size, it will leave a wound that will never fully heal.  We are treating with oral and topical antibiotics, in an effort to get it as small as possible and make it easier for the surgeon to get out and heal adequately.  Will you please pray that the wound would heal amazingly well and the surgeon is able to easily (that it hasn't gone into the bone) take out the necrotic tissue without any issue?

                                                

On a side note- One of David and I's favorite marriage conferences/series is Love and Respect (if you haven't read it... run fast and do it, it's a game changer)...  Well, I learned that the same author of Love and Respect has a book called Sons and Mothers, The Respect Effect.  I just began listening to it and while I have always tried to extrapolate the things I've learned about how men are wired from the Love and Respect series and apply it with Andrew, the practical application of this book for mothers and sons has been awesome!  I've been practicing "respect talk" when communicating with Andrew and my mind is blown how such simple changes in the choice of words we use can minister to our boys' hearts in such profound ways.  I'm only half way through the book, but wanted to share this resource with you in case you have a son of any age :-).  

Thank you for being our faithful Army!!!  You continue to bless and sustain us with your prayers!!!

                                               

#butGod #hopeon #Heisbigger #fightlikeaRoss

Treatment #2 coming up...

Well, it seems, knock on wood (even though we don't believe in that), that the hot, humid, sticky, sweaty, Texas summer has finally come to an end.  For anyone who lives in the Houston area, this is very exciting.  It is almost as exciting as waking up this past Monday morning and realizing that all three kids would be out of the house and attending school in person (side note, this is David writing, Kristi would state this in a manner that sounded much sweeter).  While Andrew and Abby have been attending school in person since this school year began, Grace has been going virtual for the first four weeks of the school year.  On the first day of school, I quickly realized that not only was Grace in 2nd grade, but I was as well.  While I joke about that, I actually am grateful for the time we spent together and getting to see how Grace works and performs in school.  It gave us a whole new appreciation for how hard teachers work and the amount of patience it requires; as well as, how grateful we are that Grace has resource teachers available to help her in the mainstream classroom (as she would have a difficult time keeping up without some guided assistance).  For example, when doing math equations and typical kids are taught a number of different strategies they can use to get to the correct answer, Grace really only needs to master one strategy as to not get confused by all the different ways to analyze the problem.  Last year, Kristi and I would often talk about how we wish we could secretly observe Grace in the classroom and see how she is doing. We would often be dumbfounded with the high scoring assignments she would come with and proudly show off.  The blessing of working alongside of Grace for the past month is that it provided a fascinating opportunity to see how Grace's mind works and how much she truly understands and comprehends in her learning environment.  I was thoroughly impressed with how well Grace did and how much more she could do than what I had envisioned.  Huge thank you to all of Grace's teachers and resource teachers who are there to help her be so successful!

Another blessing to this school year is getting to see how well Andrew is doing.  In second and third grade, Andrew definitely missed a lot of the material covered in class because of the drugs he was on, pain he was in, or just from falling asleep in class.  Halfway through his fourth grade year, which is also when Andrew was finally able to come off of all the heavy narcotics he had been on for pain, I feel like Andrew was able to pull his head out of the clouds and begin paying attention in class a lot more.  However, I think he also realized how far behind he was in some areas, particularly in math.  So many of the concepts they learn in Elementary are building blocks for the next concept.  Andrew missed a lot of those concepts, so he had to work really hard to get some simple concepts that he should've known already.  Thankfully, Andrew has had some great teachers who understood the uphill battle he was facing, as well as some teachers who took extra time tutoring Andrew after school or during the summer, and really invested in him getting caught up and prepared for 6th grade.  Now, Andrew has been crushing it in all of his classes at Poly Ryon.  If this were Kristi writing, she would write something really sappy about how outstanding the Poly Ryon teachers and administrators are, so know that they really are fantastic in the way they invest in these kids.  He has really caught Kristi and I off guard and has shown a lot of initiative and starts his homework right when he gets home from school.  We no longer have to go through his backpack and search for what assignments he might have crumpled up on the bottom.  We are grateful to see him working hard and enjoying school this year.  

While Andrew is doing great in school, he is a little worried about missing six days of school in the next two weeks, as he goes back for scans next Wednesday (9/30) and his second round of treatment on Thursday (10/1), at which point he will be radioactive again and not be able to return to school until Wednesday (10/7).  In addition to Andrew feeling worried about falling behind in school, he is also really dreading feeling nauseous again.  Last time, Andrew felt nauseous around the clock for five days. He has had tears a few nights this past week and stated he really doesn't want to have to feel that way again.  We have been able to talk to his doctors a lot and they have come up with a couple ideas to try and help the nausea to not be as bad this time.  Will you please pray the scans show some positive results from the first treatment Andrew received; for his nausea to not be an issue at all this time around; and for Andrew to feel well enough to stay on top of his school work and not get behind.

In regards to Andrew's arm, he continues to amaze his orthopedic doctor, but not necessarily in a good way.  While his arm is continuing to show new growth on his bones and that it is progressing from where it had been four weeks prior, Andrew is still no where close to being healed.  It has been nearly four months since Andrew broke his arm, but when you look at his X-rays there is still a big giant break right in the middle of one his bones.  The doctor stated that Andrew's X-rays look the same as someone who is only two months into the healing process, not four.  For some reason, we just like to do things a little unorthodox in the Ross family.

Andrew and Otto had an Obstacle Course challenge this weekend and they rocked it, especially considering they've hardly been able to practice obstacles because of Andrew's arm, Andrew has to manage Otto on the course with just one arm, and this is only the second time they have done anything like this together.  Andrew even one money on one of his rides, but the best part as seeing how much he just loved being out there with his horse for over 12 hours.

The one obstacle Otto was not having was the pond.  As soon as the competition was over, they allowed the participants to take their horses to play on the course.  Andrew headed straight for the pond and they conquered it.  Andrew was one happy kid after that and it looked like Otto enjoyed it too...  he was splashing in the pond at one point.  

Lastly, we can't forget our sweet Abigail!  She continues to work hard at all that she does and continues to grow into an amazing young woman.  We are proud of her attitude, effort, dedication, care and concern for others, and grit that she displays everyday.  Abigail's grit is such a defining characteristic for her.  Just recently, in Abigail's first league game with her new soccer team, it was a HOT day and Abigail had made a lot of sprints down the sidelines while dribbling the ball.  After about 30 minutes into the first half, Abigail was subbed off, which we didn't think anything of because she had beenworking so incredibly hard and in such extreme heat.  After the game, Abigail's coach sent me a text and told me that Abigail was working so hard that she had caused the other team to have to sub off two different defenders who were covering her because she wore them down.  So, by the time Abby had subbed off, the other team was already on their third different defender for that position.  This is a small example of Abigail's grit in all aspects of life.  She is such a blessing and Kristi and I are so grateful for how God has gifted her and wired her.  

Abby and her biggest cheerleader.  Second to watching Abby play soccer, we love hearing Grace cheer for Abby and her teammates from the sideline.  She cheers "GO SISTER BUDDY!!!"  or "shut em

down" or "you got this... you got this..." or "just kick it"... just to name a few 😂. 

PRAISE- Andrew's hair is still miraculously hanging on!  Please pray it continues to do so because this has been a huge encouragement to Andrew.

PRAYER REQUEST- with treatment week ahead of us, we could really use your prayers... will you please pray for all the details above and for our time of being separated as a family for 6 days while Andrew is on isolation?  Thank you so much for never wavering in your commitment to cover us in prayer!

We choose hope, hope in the only hope that doesn't disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  Romans 5:3-5

Prayers and Praises...

 Quick updates and prayer requests:  so many have asked how Andrew is doing... thank you for your prayers and concern!

Prayer request- Grace has a cardiologist appointment TODAY. Long before we experienced scanxiety with Andrew, we knew echoxiety all too intimately.  you see, Grace has had 6 open heart surgeries to date (4 out of the 6 were at Boston Childrens Hospital). We have walked into an appointment thinking things were ok and walked out either scheduling surgery or being admitted directly to the hospital which led to an emergency surgery, so we never feel like Cardiology appointments are just “routine” visits. Although, it’s a great opportunity to reflect back on ALL that the Lord has so graciously brought us through.... especially the fact that we were blessed to celebrate Grace’s 8th birthday last week!!!  Will you please pray that Grace’s heart looks healthy and there are no surprises at her appointment today? 

Grace started virtual school and David gets the award for the best 2nd grade teacher EVER! We continue to watch the covid trends and pray that Grace can go to face to face school in a couple weeks (assuming trends stay reasonable). She’s SO eager to get back to face to face school and I think the best 2nd grade teacher ever could use a break too🤣!

Praise the Lord, Andrew has felt great since day 6 or 7 after treatment and here’s the miraculous part... his hair is still hanging on. Y’all, I’m in absolute disbelief! I can tell his hair is breaking off some, but he hasn’t really noticed and unless you look closely you wouldn’t even be able to tell that it’s “different.” I’m certain this is absolutely an answer to prayer! Now, it could still certainly fall out in the days and weeks to come and on subsequent treatments, but for today... we rejoice! Andrew is loving school and he’s been more motivated than I’ve ever seen him to get his homework done everyday, study, etc. Another huge praise.  Will you please pray he can stay up to speed with school since he will miss a week + of school every couple months for scans and treatments? His next scan is on Sept 30th and treatment is scheduled for Oct 1st. Please pray the scans reveal awesome results, that we can better manage his nausea this time around, and that we all weather the separation well. 

1st color out day at Poly Ryon Middle School!

Abby is loving Logo’s (the private school she goes to) and we love that she’s still home with us two days a week. She’s a happy camper and so are we that soccer games are back in full swing. It’s a sense of “normal” that our whole family enjoys. 

Thanks so much for your prayers!!!  Please keep me coming!!! #butGod #fightlikeaRoss #hopeon 💚

2020-2021 School Year 1.0

 It’s hard to believe that school starts tomorrow... I seriously can’t wrap my mind around it and I hardly feel prepared, but we have full confidence that God’s got great things in store for the Rosslings and the rest of your kiddos this year. It’s certainly going to be different, maybe even uncomfortable and probably super frustrating at times, but we are praying we can see God’s hand in the details (a prayer He’s always faithful to answer). Here is an update on the Ross Family shenanigans....

*Andrew Update- He had 5-6 pretty rough days after his first round of treatment. He was SUPER nauseous around the clock, but I couldn’t be more proud of his attitude and character through it all. He’s dreading treatments 2-4 because of the nausea, but we are praying that with some additional nausea meds (one is an antipsychotic and the other is a steroid... who would have thought those would help with extreme nausea🤷‍♀️?!?!), it will be more to tolerable. Based on what the handful of adults have experienced with this treatment, Andrew should start losing his hair this week... just in time for school. Will you please pray for that situation? Please continue to pray that this new treatment is busy obliterating every single cancer cell in his body and that it stays gone... FOREVER (we continue to hang on to hope that God can and He will... until He says otherwise)!

*School- Many have asked what we are doing with our kiddos for school during the pandemic.  It’s easy to judge the decisions others make, but I pray people will consider the fact that God calls each of us to seek His will (which could be, and likely is, different for different families) and be willing to say “yes, Lord” to what ever He calls us to... even if it’s scary, inconvenient, or even unpopular. We have prayed long and hard about what’s best for the Rosslings and consulted Grace’s cardiologist, Andrew’s Oncologist, and many other experts that we highly respect. We have come up with what we feel is a great plan A and plan B and we are beyond grateful that the kids' schools/administrators are beyond supportive in ensuring our kids are safe physically, yes, but mentally and emotionally too. 

Andrew REALLY wants to experience Poly Ryon, the 6th grade campus that is literally famous because it’s the most AMAZING public school ever! Andrew yearns to feel “normal” and going to school in person (especially at Poly Ryon) is a great way to accomplish that. He will miss two weeks of school ever two months anyway for treatment, so in person school will hopefully be a blessing in between his treatments and time of isolation (when he's radioactive). 

Grace will start virtual school initially and we will monitor the Covid rates. If the rates are reasonable in 3-4 weeks, we would LOVE for her to transition to in person school because GRACE LOVES, LOVES, LOVES SCHOOL and she thrives there in so many ways!!!! From her typical peers/precious friends to the incredibly kind, creative, and brilliant teachers who know the balance between setting the bar high for this kid because she's so smart and such a hard worker, but yet making sure to modify where necessary to help her learn concepts in a way that makes most sense for her style of learning... Grace really thrives at school, so we pray she can get back on campus sooner than later.  Trusting God will make each step clear, just as He always has.

Since Grace will be learning virtually and Andrew will have treatment (Lord willing) every two months until February, David will not be going back to work at The Tenney School at this point (they have been SO supportive over the years... taking what ever time David can commit to based on our family's needs and circumstances). 

Abby will be going to Logo’s again this year. It’s a Christian University model school, where she goes in person 3 days a week and works from home 2 days a week. This school has been a perfect fit for her in so many ways. They already had very small class sizes and this year they will be even smaller class sizes, due to covid, so we feel good about the precautions that have been put in place by both Abby's school and our public schools. 

Mom and daughter, back to school mani and pedi.  Both Abby and I's looked GREAT for a couple hours.... this is why we don't routinely get our toes and nails done, they can't handle soccer and the barn life 😂.

*Activities that are a little glimpse of normal...

Soccer scrimmages have started back up and league play is suppose to start Labor Day weekend for Abby! Man, it is SO nice to have a sense of normalcy... I knew we loved watching our girl on the pitch, but this rona thing has reminded us how precious some of the things are that we may have taken for granted. While Abby never really took a break from soccer, that kid is always at extra trainings, the fields with David, etc... we have missed real games! 

Anyway, the second we are uncomfortable with in person school (for and any and all of the kids), our plan B is to have all the kids move to virtual learning. 

*Andrew’s arm is healing SO SUPER slow (likely because of all the radiation his little body has seen), so he’s still in a removable cast. Therefore, he hasn’t been able to practice obstacles with Otto in preparation for the Obstacle Course challenge he competed in this past weekend. He really wanted to participate in the competition, even though he hasn’t been able to practice until this past week and he only has one arm to work with. I kept praying that God would help him feel successful (you know how a momma’s heart works... he’s experienced so much hardship and disappointment lately, I just didn’t want him to be let down AGAIN). I was so nervous for him, but by God’s grace... he and Otto went out there and crushed it. We couldn’t be more proud of him for his courage, willingness to take (calculated 😬) risks, and for reading his horse so well to help them be successful. 

David took Andrew to the Obstacle Course Challenge, where they spent 10.5 hours at the barn.  I requested a video of Andrew competing, so that's exactly what I got and not one more pic or video😉.  I took this pic before they left.  He doesn't wear his barn boots in the house or even the car, so he doesn't have those on yet.  

*Grace turns 8 years old on Thursday!!! I seriously can't believe it!  We’ve had a blast celebrating her birthday with family the past two weekends (and really everyday 🤣)!!!

We celebrated with the cousins last weekend by playing Grace's favorite game EVER...  America Ninja Warrior!  In fact, if you ask Grace what she wants to be when she grows up, she would say "an American Ninja Warrior girl!"

 

 

If you haven't seen this book, please check it out... its precious!

This was her interview on how she prepared for the race! 

Being announced...  "in the turquoise bathing suit, we have GRAAACE ROSSS!" 

Grace running the course!

Papa Toot didn't want to be left out!

We celebrated these Birthday Buddies with my parents today!  Just because David was born on August 30th... 3 days away from Grace, he has the title of her "Birthday Buddy" and that trumps all other "Buddies" in the house!  She is obsessed with her "Birthday Buddy" 🎂.  

"Scar Buddy" (Andrew- they both have scars from major surgery...  Grace from 6 open heart surgeries and Andrew on his belly from surgery to try to remove some tumors), "Sissy Buddy" (Abby- that's an obvious one), and "Earhole Buddy" (me- we both have what looks like a tiny hole in this random part of our ear) are always trying to knock David off the podium and be Grace's favorite "Buddy," but he's virtually impossible to dethrone, but we won't quit trying because "Rosses never give up!"... that's what Grace says anytime she does something scary or hard.😂   

 

We appreciate every single one of you!  Praying that you will see God's hand in the details of your week and that you would experience His perfect peace, hope that doesn't disappoint, and that you would know that you are deeply loved.  #butGod #hopeon #fightlikeaRoss 💚

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

NEVER A DULL MOMENT- Thanks for tuning in to the next episode of The Ross Family Shenanigans, You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

These three prayers tend to be my daily plead with the Lord because let's face it, without God's divine intervention it would be all too easy to be overcome with the uncertainty and depravity of this world we live in.

*"Lord, please help me to see myself, others, and my circumstances through your eyes."  It's far too easy to view life through our own fleshly eyes that can be full of doubt, fear, envy, selfishness, confusion, disappointment, discontentment, entitlement, and misplaced affections (making people or things little gods in our lives.

*"Lord, will you please align my heart and mind with your will?"  I feel like over the past 17 years, but really intensely over the past 8 years, we have had to make decisions that could literally mean life or death for two out of three of our babies (Grace or Andrew).  From the lack of peace we had about how our local children's hospital wanted to handle Grace's very broken heart and the way the Lord lead us across the country to Boston for Grace to have what was a very risky set of surgeries with the hope of a better long term prognosis to Andrew being diagnosed with an exceptionally rare form of cancer that doesn't come with any sort of protocol or pathway, especially not in children.  I'm passionate about shared decision making between patients and their care team (you should always feel like an integral part of your child's/your care), but if I'm honest, there are times when I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility, power, or influence that is waaaay above my pay grade.  Since there isn't any evidence available in children with stage 4 pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor (because there are less than a handful of kids that have this type of cancer and I don't know any that are Andrew's age and with his burden of disease... meaning as much disease as he has), it's on us to make BIG decisions around Andrew's care (it was a similar situation with Grace... there had only been one child like her to have the same type of surgeries we were considering), so the last thing we want is to make any decision in our own strength, we need to make sure we hear from the Lord SO clearly!  Again, He has been so faithful to answer this prayer in big and small decisions, so we will continue to pray for His perfect wisdom and provision, trusting in His faithfulness because that's the only way we know how to do it.  He hasn't left or forsaken us yet, so we trust He won't start now.

*"Lord, help me to see your hand in the details..."  I feel like Moses when he told God, if you're not going, I won't go.  Seeing God's hand all along the way gives us the peace and comfort we need to put one foot of faith in front of the other.  Often times the way God shows us His hand is through y'all!  We can't stop thanking you for ALL the ways you stand in the gap for us!  There is never a comment, text, email (even if I'm not timely in responding), words spoken, or act of kindness that goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

Update on what we've been up, unexpected twists and turns, and what lies ahead (at least from today's vantage point):

-Andrew has had a great attitude about his broken arm, but it's been super hard not being able to ride Otto, go swimming, ride his bike, etc.  He has his next orthopedic appointment on Tuesday next week, so we are praying his bone is healing perfectly aligned and he can get a shorter, waterproof cast on.  Will you please join us in praying for that?

We weren't able to go to Pine Cove Family Camp this year because of Covid 19 and the risk it poses to Grace and Andrew, so we were planning to go to Oregon with precious friends in a few weeks.  We were hoping it would serve as a giant blessing for Andrew (and the rest of the family) before Andrew embarks on his next round of treatments.

WELL, that was the plan until we learned that David and I had been exposed to someone with COVID 19.  We both went to get tested out of an abundance of caution and......................................... I tested negative and David tested positive :-(.  We then had all 3 kids tested and PRAISE THE LORD, they were negative.  The timing of this COVID 19 exposure means that we can no longer go to Oregon.  The kids were obviously devastated that we won't be going to Oregon (they were SO looking forward to it), we can't go to the barn for a bit, and Abby certainly had a lot of tears about about having to miss two weeks of soccer training (she's obviously still finding ways to train at home, but I'm sure it's not the same as her 3 hour training sessions at TTi).  Will you please pray that the kids and I will stay safe from getting COVID 19 (David is wearing a mask and trying to stay away from everyone as much as possible)?  Will you please pray for an extra measure of strength and endurance for me (trying to work and be the primary caregiver is no easy task) and the kids (the big kids have been so helpful with Grace and taking care of each other, and Grace has had such a great attitude about it too)?  Will you please pray that we can find another way to take a family adventure before Andrew's treatment (more on that in a minute)?

All that to say, it's been a rough 5 days so far, but we have seen God's hand in the details.  We talk a lot in Ross household about having an attitude of gratitude, so here are the blessings we are grateful for in the midst of disappointment and exhaustion-

-Abby to the rescue...  I was feeling so weary and broken on Monday night because I feel like our poor kids just take one hit after another in life (I know that's where their grit and resilience comes from, but it's gut wrenching as a parent to have to watch your kids constantly take a beating and know there's nothing you can do to take away their pain).  I gave the kids the best game time pep talk I could muster up, trying to help them fix their eyes back on Jesus (see this through His eyes) and we prayed together before I went to my room to have a quick cry.  I walked out after having gotten myself together and Abby handed me my phone and said "I think someone texted you."  I looked at my phone and here is the text I found...  I'm sharing this with you in case it ministers to you too.

Abby's words ministered to my heart in a way that seemed to make all things right in the world for that moment.  Then, a sweet friend and Godly mentor reminded me that it's not about vacations, a horse, soccer, or anything else, but instead it's about pointing our children to Christ, the One who truly satisfies.  I'm reminded that they (we) already have the greatest treasure and that treasure can't be taken away by this stupid virus, cancer, a broken arm, or any other disappointment in this world.

more reasons to be grateful...

-The kids have been SO helpful and selfless through it all (so far), especially Abby.

-I've loved getting to lift weights with Abby at home.

-Grace continues to love playing make believe with Andrew, watching/practicing American Ninja Warrior, reading, playing card games, frozen monopoly, and going for a run with me (or Abby) around the block.

My office buddies!

-Andrew's pain has been well controlled (praise the Lord) despite the fact that we know his disease is progressing.

-We have always wanted to rent an RV and we are going to try to make that happen instead of Oregon.  The kids are beyond excited about this possibility, so please pray that if it's the Lord's will, it will all work out to be able to squeeze a fun filled trip in before Andrew's treatment.


Speaking of treatment (a lot of you have asked about the details, so here goes)... we continue to praise the Lord for making a way for this Alpha Therapy (so many miracles already revealed in the timing, location, and approval of this treatment) and pray that the Lord carries us through all the nuances... it's starting to get real!!!  UPDATE- We got a call from Andrew's treatment facility that the radiation manufacturer had to push back when they will have Andrew's dose available, so his new date for treatment is August 6th.  He will have 2 days worth of scans and labs and we have a meeting with his Dr's for a consultation, to sign consents, etc that same week.  Lord willing, he will get his first dose of radiation treatment on August 6th, then he and David will leave the clinic where he is treated and stay at a hotel that night, return to the clinic the following day for more scans, and then head to David's parents house where they will live upstairs for a couple nights and then go camping for a couple nights before returning home.  After Andrew receives a round of treatment, he has to stay away from Abby and Grace for 4-5 days and we (adults) have to stay a meter away from him at all times because he's radioactive.  He has to have his own bathroom, flush the toilet 3 times, we have to bag up any clothes or toys he plays with and put them aside for 2 weeks to allow time for the radioactivity to biodegrade off.  In terms of the side effects he will likely experience, he will likely have a rebound of pain from the tumors being radiated, nausea/vomiting, fatigue, and his hair will fall out a good bit.  It sounds like he won't be bald, but he will have very heavy "shedding" which will likely make him want to shave his head.  Will you please pray all of these side effects are minimal or even non existent?  Andrew isn't excited about losing his hair, especially upon entering a new school/campus (he will be going into the 6th grade, which is the most AMAZING school ever, so I know he will be in good hands, but it will be much different than the precious elementary school bubble he's use to).  Above all, will you PLEASE pray that this treatment literally eradicates every single cancer cell in his body?  The results in the 7 adults that have received this therapy are pretty astounding, however, what we don't know is how long these results last, long term consequences of the treatment (especially in a child), etc, but the good news is that God knows and this story is His to author, so we will continue to pray and hope for a miracle.  THANK YOU for being such faithful prayer warriors!!!  Your prayers mean everything to us!!! #fightlikeaRoss #butGod #hopeon