You Can't Make This Stuff Up

NEVER A DULL MOMENT- Thanks for tuning in to the next episode of The Ross Family Shenanigans, You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

These three prayers tend to be my daily plead with the Lord because let's face it, without God's divine intervention it would be all too easy to be overcome with the uncertainty and depravity of this world we live in.

*"Lord, please help me to see myself, others, and my circumstances through your eyes."  It's far too easy to view life through our own fleshly eyes that can be full of doubt, fear, envy, selfishness, confusion, disappointment, discontentment, entitlement, and misplaced affections (making people or things little gods in our lives.

*"Lord, will you please align my heart and mind with your will?"  I feel like over the past 17 years, but really intensely over the past 8 years, we have had to make decisions that could literally mean life or death for two out of three of our babies (Grace or Andrew).  From the lack of peace we had about how our local children's hospital wanted to handle Grace's very broken heart and the way the Lord lead us across the country to Boston for Grace to have what was a very risky set of surgeries with the hope of a better long term prognosis to Andrew being diagnosed with an exceptionally rare form of cancer that doesn't come with any sort of protocol or pathway, especially not in children.  I'm passionate about shared decision making between patients and their care team (you should always feel like an integral part of your child's/your care), but if I'm honest, there are times when I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility, power, or influence that is waaaay above my pay grade.  Since there isn't any evidence available in children with stage 4 pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor (because there are less than a handful of kids that have this type of cancer and I don't know any that are Andrew's age and with his burden of disease... meaning as much disease as he has), it's on us to make BIG decisions around Andrew's care (it was a similar situation with Grace... there had only been one child like her to have the same type of surgeries we were considering), so the last thing we want is to make any decision in our own strength, we need to make sure we hear from the Lord SO clearly!  Again, He has been so faithful to answer this prayer in big and small decisions, so we will continue to pray for His perfect wisdom and provision, trusting in His faithfulness because that's the only way we know how to do it.  He hasn't left or forsaken us yet, so we trust He won't start now.

*"Lord, help me to see your hand in the details..."  I feel like Moses when he told God, if you're not going, I won't go.  Seeing God's hand all along the way gives us the peace and comfort we need to put one foot of faith in front of the other.  Often times the way God shows us His hand is through y'all!  We can't stop thanking you for ALL the ways you stand in the gap for us!  There is never a comment, text, email (even if I'm not timely in responding), words spoken, or act of kindness that goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

Update on what we've been up, unexpected twists and turns, and what lies ahead (at least from today's vantage point):

-Andrew has had a great attitude about his broken arm, but it's been super hard not being able to ride Otto, go swimming, ride his bike, etc.  He has his next orthopedic appointment on Tuesday next week, so we are praying his bone is healing perfectly aligned and he can get a shorter, waterproof cast on.  Will you please join us in praying for that?

We weren't able to go to Pine Cove Family Camp this year because of Covid 19 and the risk it poses to Grace and Andrew, so we were planning to go to Oregon with precious friends in a few weeks.  We were hoping it would serve as a giant blessing for Andrew (and the rest of the family) before Andrew embarks on his next round of treatments.

WELL, that was the plan until we learned that David and I had been exposed to someone with COVID 19.  We both went to get tested out of an abundance of caution and......................................... I tested negative and David tested positive :-(.  We then had all 3 kids tested and PRAISE THE LORD, they were negative.  The timing of this COVID 19 exposure means that we can no longer go to Oregon.  The kids were obviously devastated that we won't be going to Oregon (they were SO looking forward to it), we can't go to the barn for a bit, and Abby certainly had a lot of tears about about having to miss two weeks of soccer training (she's obviously still finding ways to train at home, but I'm sure it's not the same as her 3 hour training sessions at TTi).  Will you please pray that the kids and I will stay safe from getting COVID 19 (David is wearing a mask and trying to stay away from everyone as much as possible)?  Will you please pray for an extra measure of strength and endurance for me (trying to work and be the primary caregiver is no easy task) and the kids (the big kids have been so helpful with Grace and taking care of each other, and Grace has had such a great attitude about it too)?  Will you please pray that we can find another way to take a family adventure before Andrew's treatment (more on that in a minute)?

All that to say, it's been a rough 5 days so far, but we have seen God's hand in the details.  We talk a lot in Ross household about having an attitude of gratitude, so here are the blessings we are grateful for in the midst of disappointment and exhaustion-

-Abby to the rescue...  I was feeling so weary and broken on Monday night because I feel like our poor kids just take one hit after another in life (I know that's where their grit and resilience comes from, but it's gut wrenching as a parent to have to watch your kids constantly take a beating and know there's nothing you can do to take away their pain).  I gave the kids the best game time pep talk I could muster up, trying to help them fix their eyes back on Jesus (see this through His eyes) and we prayed together before I went to my room to have a quick cry.  I walked out after having gotten myself together and Abby handed me my phone and said "I think someone texted you."  I looked at my phone and here is the text I found...  I'm sharing this with you in case it ministers to you too.

Abby's words ministered to my heart in a way that seemed to make all things right in the world for that moment.  Then, a sweet friend and Godly mentor reminded me that it's not about vacations, a horse, soccer, or anything else, but instead it's about pointing our children to Christ, the One who truly satisfies.  I'm reminded that they (we) already have the greatest treasure and that treasure can't be taken away by this stupid virus, cancer, a broken arm, or any other disappointment in this world.

more reasons to be grateful...

-The kids have been SO helpful and selfless through it all (so far), especially Abby.

-I've loved getting to lift weights with Abby at home.

-Grace continues to love playing make believe with Andrew, watching/practicing American Ninja Warrior, reading, playing card games, frozen monopoly, and going for a run with me (or Abby) around the block.

My office buddies!

-Andrew's pain has been well controlled (praise the Lord) despite the fact that we know his disease is progressing.

-We have always wanted to rent an RV and we are going to try to make that happen instead of Oregon.  The kids are beyond excited about this possibility, so please pray that if it's the Lord's will, it will all work out to be able to squeeze a fun filled trip in before Andrew's treatment.


Speaking of treatment (a lot of you have asked about the details, so here goes)... we continue to praise the Lord for making a way for this Alpha Therapy (so many miracles already revealed in the timing, location, and approval of this treatment) and pray that the Lord carries us through all the nuances... it's starting to get real!!!  UPDATE- We got a call from Andrew's treatment facility that the radiation manufacturer had to push back when they will have Andrew's dose available, so his new date for treatment is August 6th.  He will have 2 days worth of scans and labs and we have a meeting with his Dr's for a consultation, to sign consents, etc that same week.  Lord willing, he will get his first dose of radiation treatment on August 6th, then he and David will leave the clinic where he is treated and stay at a hotel that night, return to the clinic the following day for more scans, and then head to David's parents house where they will live upstairs for a couple nights and then go camping for a couple nights before returning home.  After Andrew receives a round of treatment, he has to stay away from Abby and Grace for 4-5 days and we (adults) have to stay a meter away from him at all times because he's radioactive.  He has to have his own bathroom, flush the toilet 3 times, we have to bag up any clothes or toys he plays with and put them aside for 2 weeks to allow time for the radioactivity to biodegrade off.  In terms of the side effects he will likely experience, he will likely have a rebound of pain from the tumors being radiated, nausea/vomiting, fatigue, and his hair will fall out a good bit.  It sounds like he won't be bald, but he will have very heavy "shedding" which will likely make him want to shave his head.  Will you please pray all of these side effects are minimal or even non existent?  Andrew isn't excited about losing his hair, especially upon entering a new school/campus (he will be going into the 6th grade, which is the most AMAZING school ever, so I know he will be in good hands, but it will be much different than the precious elementary school bubble he's use to).  Above all, will you PLEASE pray that this treatment literally eradicates every single cancer cell in his body?  The results in the 7 adults that have received this therapy are pretty astounding, however, what we don't know is how long these results last, long term consequences of the treatment (especially in a child), etc, but the good news is that God knows and this story is His to author, so we will continue to pray and hope for a miracle.  THANK YOU for being such faithful prayer warriors!!!  Your prayers mean everything to us!!! #fightlikeaRoss #butGod #hopeon

Quarantine and a New Quest...

Hello our sweet Army!  Kristi here- 

We pray you and your family are healthy and well during this crazy new "normal" that we are all trying to embrace.  Many have asked how our family is doing, considering we have two "vulnerable" or "at risk" kiddos in our home, so thank you for your prayers and concern for our family.  The truth is, we are most concerned about Grace getting covid 19 because she has been in the ICU and intubated due to a much less virulent virus before, so we are well aware of the huge risk covid 19 poses to her and her special heart.  We are of course also concerned about keeping Andrew well, since he has a compromised immune system.  With all that being said, not much has changed for us in terms of being ULTRA cautious about germs, since Grace was born, we have been programed to avoid germs in every way possible.  While our hearts ache for those afflicted by covid 19 and those on the front lines of this battle, we have found the slower pace and increased family time to be pretty amazing.  How often in life do we have a relatively empty plate to offer the Lord to fill in a way that He says is best?  Time outside playing lots of soccer, basketball, bike rides, eating meals together,  lots of barn time, family bible studies, and watching Grace's zest for learning (she joyfully does her school work everyday like it's a gift versus a chore...  we could all use a little of Grace's attitude in our lives) are just a few of the things that have been the source of sweet memories that we aren't taking for granted.  Don't get me wrong... it's not always rainbows, unicorns, and sprinkles over here, but we are trying hard not to miss the lessons and blessings God has offered us during this CRAZY and unprecedented time.  Andrew's next scans are scheduled for May, however, I'm not sure how covid 19 will impact that plan, so we will keep you posted.  In the meantime, we greatly appreciate your prayers that Andrew's cancer isn't progressing and for all cancer patients, since we know that cancer doesn't pause because covid 19 has appeared on the scene.  

David taking over now-

It's hard to believe that just nine months ago Andrew had just begun talking about wanting a horse for his Make-A-Wish gift (after his original Make-A-Wish choice, a cruise, had to be cancelled twice because he was in such a rough place physically).  We spoke with Make-A-Wish to see if that would even be possible and they sent us their guidelines for doing a horse wish.  One major issue...we weren't horse people and had no clue how to go about finding the right horse for Andrew.

While we were talking and praying about how to even begin figuring out a way to make Andrew's wish a reality, we happened to be going to Pine Cove for family camp that same week.  While we were at family camp, we remembered that Pine Cove leases out some of their horses to willing families during the non-Summer months.  This got Kristi thinking, rather than having Make-A-Wish buy a horse and then we would have to figure out stable, vet, farrier costs, etc, what if we leased a horse from Pine Cove and then Make-A-Wish could potentially cover the stable fees (this way we would not be committing to a long term situation of horse ownership, without even knowing whether this would be something Andrew would love forever).  Not only was Pine Cove fully on board with this idea, "Costa" (the Pine Cove Crier Creek head wrangler) had an amazing horse in mind for Andrew, Otto, as he was one of their best horses and was great with just about any rider that got on his back.  He is all the counselors favorite horse... now we understand why!

Once we got home from family camp, Kristi got the ball rolling with researching different stables in the area, while I began reaching out to Make-A-Wish to find out if they would be willing to change the way they do things and pay for 9 months of stable fees and vet bills, instead of paying for a horse.  Thankfully, Make-A-Wish was on board as well, but needed a lot of details on a few different stable options throughout the area.  Kristi had found some great stables (like the one he had been taking lessons at) and some questionable stables, and everything in between... but we still weren't sold on where we should board because we were looking for a stable that wasn't too far away, allowed Andrew to ride as often as he would like, etc.  We lucked out when we received a phone call from two different friends who had boarded or were boarding their horses at Carroll Stables (where Otto is boarded now).  They had glowing recommendations of the stable, but even above the stable, they couldn't say enough about how amazing the owner, Mrs. Jody, was and they highly advised us giving her a call to see if she would be willing to take on a unique situation such as ours.  We were overjoyed to hear her views of us boarding at her stables and even though she had never done anything like this before, having to coordinate with two different entities about payment and the horse, with neither of those entities being the person who would actually be the horse owner.  However, it all came together in a way that had God's finger prints all over it!

It is crazy to think that 7 months has already gone by since we first had Otto delivered to Carroll Stables.  Andrew was so surprised when he first met Otto and realized that Otto would be HIS horse for the next 9 months.  Otto has been the perfect horse for the whole family.  He knows who is riding him and how to adjust based on their riding level.  Otto has been great this whole time, but after having Otto for a couple months, you could tell that Otto began to change...  It's like he realized that this was more than just a job, he saw that we kept returning 3 to 4 times a week and before long we were his people, and he was another member of the family.  Prior to this change, I wouldn't have known how to tell if a horse likes their owners or not, but you could tell that he knew we all went together now.  

We always knew that we would only have Otto for 9 months and that he would have to go back to family camp in May; however, none of us really wanted to mention that reality or talk about what that would be like for Otto to leave us.  You see, we would've never thought that in just 7 months we would be a barn family, but we have loved every moment we spend out at the barn.  It has been a great experience for the entire family and such an answer to prayer.  For Andrew in particular, Otto has brought him so much joy and confidence, but it has also been the missing piece for us as we struggled to find ways to really get into Andrew's world, outside of time spent at Dr's appointments, hospital stays, etc.  

Fast forward to us now being in the month of March and family camp begins in just two months.  The reality of Otto leaving us, just for three months, is so saddening.  We love Otto just as though he were another member of the family.  We would often joke with Mrs. Jody that Otto can't go back to camp because he has picked up some bad habits since being with us, for instance, Andrew enjoys trying to act like he is a real cowboy and tries to jump on Otto while he is walking.  Now, Otto has formed the habit of starting to walk when we are about to get on him, thus making him no longer suitable for campers (or at least that is what we were trying to convince ourselves could help us to keep Otto ;-).  The amazing Mrs. Jody was fully aware of our dread in having to return Otto in two months and since she needed to speak with Pine Cove anyway, in order to begin discussing when Otto would need to be picked up to head back to camp, she was willing to ask Pine Cove on our behalf if they would be willing to sell Otto (which we thought was a looooong shot because we knew when we received Otto that he was their top horse out of roughly 60 horses).  

After Mrs. Jody spoke with Pine Cove, she called to tell us that "Costa", the head wrangler at Pine Cove, answered the phone and said right away, "I know why you're calling me."  To our delight and amazement, Pine Cove was on board with wanting to make selling Otto to us happen and Mrs. Jody stated that they gave a very fair price for us to purchase Otto....$2,500.  We have no clue about horse prices or value, but we trust that Mrs. Jody does, so while $2,500 sounds like a lot to us, I know that a horse as well trained as Otto could sell for much more than $2,500.  Plus, he's priceless to us!

We have mentioned in many Facebook posts how amazing Mrs. Jody is (for so many reasons), but here is another example of why only God could've know how important it was for us to board Otto at Carroll Stables.  Not only has Mrs. Jody been so amazing with everything at the barn, she also let us know right away that she knew $2,500 was a lot of money for our family (especially since we would also be taking over the fees for boarding Otto) and that she wanted to help in anyway she could to help us get Otto.  We found out about being able to get Otto just a week ago, and in just that amount of time, Mrs. Jody has built these amazing Texas flag boards and had the idea to sell raffle tickets for $10 a ticket.  She is awesome!  We couldn't have done this without her!  #butGod #OttoisaRoss 

Raffle tickets can be purchased via https://paypal.me/JodyCarrollStables?locale.x=en_US

For every $10 donated, Mrs. Jody will add a ticket to the raffle with your name and phone # on it. She will text you a photo of your ticket(s) if you’d like!

***Andrew would love to be able to sell raffle tickets in person, but obviously the quarantine makes that impossible, so that's why we are all virtual.  Thank you for your understanding and support!

Summer and beyond... update on the horse!

Helllllloooo our sweet Army!

I think about, pray for, and praise the Lord for y'all often! The way you have prayed us through the darkest of days and rejoiced with us on the brightest of days is never far from my mind.  I wanted to give you a quick update, since my last post, on what God has been up to over the past couple months.

Summer and beyond:
We had a crazy busy summer, filled with lots of great memories:  A grown ups only vaca in Costa Rica (the trip we won in the raffle at the Gigi's Playhouse Gala last year), Toga party in Corpus Christi for a TOKC fundraiser (where an amazing family paid $5,000 in a live auction for a pomeranian puppy and then gave it to Andrew), officiating the wedding of two dear friends, our 7th year at Pine Cove Family Camp (best family vaca ever), soccer in Colorado, Family Reunion in Branson, awards trip in Park City, Utah, Abby and Andrew meeting up with family friends in Tennessee and then all of us meeting together in Louisiana, and to cap off the summer....  ANDREW'S MAKE A WISH WAS GRANTED!!!

Costa Rica did not disappoint!

Our favorite pediatric cancer foundation, Triumph Over Kid Cancer's fundraiser! 

Still can't believe we were blessed with this little guy, Rocket Chase Ross!

Can you tell, I'm SO SUPER excited for these two?!?!  After introducing them a year earlier, it was truly an honor to marry them!

FMILY CAMP!!! Year 6!!!

Family Reunion in Branson, while Abby and I were at a soccer tournament in Colorado...

Since David took Andrew and Grace to the reunion, I only got 2 pics from the whole trip😜!

These girls crushed it at Nationals!  They made it to the semi-finals (lost in over time), playing up an age group!

 The one pic I got of Abby playing, thanks to another mom taking it!

Team bonding with some white water rafting!

Besties reunited at the airport in Tennessee (just missing Glo Glo)!  This was Abby and Andrew's first time flying all by themselves!  They did great!

Amazing 9 mile hike in stunning, Park City, Utah!

***A SUPER SPECIAL DAY....ANDREW'S MAKE A WISH!!!***

The day Andrew got his Wish granted!!!

A boy and his horse (from just this weekend)...

Otto doesn't love playing soccer, but he will do it.

The first time Andrew taught Otto to jump...

Catching a ride back to the barn after catching Otto in the pasture one day...

Abby loves Otto as much as Andrew does... she's become quite a little barn girl when she's not on the soccer field!  Andrew and Abby have taught Otto how to run barrels... and Grace walks the barrels course :-)!

Only God could have known how much Andrew needed a horse in his life and really, how much our whole family needed this horse in our lives.  As I've shared previously (I think), when Andrew was little he was always a major mama's boy.... once Andrew was diagnosed with cancer and on SO many pain meds around the clock (including multiple narcotics), we saw a change in his personality that made him very hard to connect with, especially for me.  I'm not a very creative person, so trying to get into his world often times felt impossible.  I missed my boy so much during this time and had to fight the thoughts that maybe God was putting distance between us during a time all I wanted was to draw near to him to protect my heart for when he called him home.  Once Andrew was able to come off the narcotics (praise the Lord), we saw his personality return to normal, but I still yearned to find a way to connect with him like we use to, when it was so easy and came so natural.  This precious horse and the stables it is boarded at (Carroll Stables), has been beyond anything I could have even thought to pray for.  I absolutely love going to the barn with Andrew, it is our happy place (totally a God thing, since you know I'm not someone who loves a whole lot of dirt and being around horses... is not a dirt free environment ;-).  The owners of the barn have become like family in just a few short months.  They have taught us so much about caring for a horse, they take amazing care of Otto (and all the horses at the barn.... those horses are all living their best life now), have taught Andrew how to throw a rope (lasso), Grace is always looking for Mrs. Jody, so she can help her around the barn or just talk her ear off, we get to go on family trail rides, and really, they just love us well.  Pine Cove couldn't have leased us a more perfect horse (for our family).  Otto is 17 years old and works hard for Andrew, whether he's teaching him how to kick a big soccer ball, do an obstacle course, jump, run barrels, or just go really fast (Andrew's favorite thing to do), but he's equally amazing if Grace and Abby ride him.  David and I love riding him too, even though we usually just ride after the kids (so we are riding in a kids saddle).

One more thing that is an extra little hug from God is the drive to the barn...  the barn is about 25 minutes from our house, but it is such a beautiful drive, complete with a painted sky (especially during sunset) that boasts of God's majesty.  The drive to the barn is always a great time chatting with the kids, listening to worship music, or just talking to God.  Andrew's Make A Wish gift has been such a tremendous gift to our family in SO many ways.  I did my best to give you a glimpse of what the blessing means to us, but it really feels impossible to articulate.  We only have Otto until the end of May and then Otto has to go back to Pine Cove to work over the summer for camp.  The kids will often say, "I can't imagine not having Otto in our lives anymore.  I hate to even think about it!"  Then, I know they are really hoping we can get Otto back after he is done working for the summer, but by that time the Make A Wish gift will be over (the gift was boarding and vet for Otto for 9 months) and owning/leasing a horse isn't cheap 😬.  I have to be honest, when I think too much about it, I sort of get anxious at the thought, so I have to choose to give it to God and trust that He will either change our hearts or provide a way for us to get Otto back.  Will you please join us in prayer about God's will?  I know it sounds silly to already be worried about that, since we have still have 7 months left with Otto, but it's a reality that's already on everyone's heart.

ABBY- playing for the u13 Houston Dash DA (soccer continues to be her happy place), loves Logo's (this school couldn't be a more perfect fit for her), and is still my little (big) side kick.  Having a sibling with special needs makes for a pretty amazing human, but it also requires a lot of sacrifice and potential issues that, if you aren't hyperaware of, could be overlooked.  For instance, studies show that kiddos of a sibling with special needs often times are perfectionists because they don't want to mess up and cause more stress on the family, they may feel over looked, may feel like they don't want to share their feelings/stress because they know their parents are already stretched so thin, etc.  You take that reality and multiply it by two because both of her siblings have special needs of some sort.  Therefore, we pray often about how to best pour into Abby and make sure she gets the time and attention she needs.  One way we have found to be super helpful is making sure there is time for me to take her on a lunch or dinner date 1-2 times per week.  I pray about what topics God wants me to talk to her about on our dates and He is faithful to answer that prayer every time (whether I go into our dates with a topic on my heart or let it organically come up).  The time spent with her in the car driving to and from soccer is also a great time to connect with her one on one.  I know we are quickly approaching the teenage years, so we pray that God preserves her, keeping her the sweetheart she is now, despite any teenage hormones.  A peak into this girl's heart...  you know Abby hates when David and I are away overnight, so us going to Costa Rica for 5 nights without her was a big step for all of us.  When we came home, I found this as Abby's screen saver and she hasn't changed it yet (even though her friends often ask her "why do you have your mom as your screen saver?" 😂😂😂).

ANDREW- pain has been well controlled on only 3 pain meds.  He is thriving in school (even though he is still playing catch up from the 2 years of school that he missed most of from being in treatment, too much pain to go to school, sleeping through most of the day at school because of all the pain meds he was on, etc).  He is going to play basketball this winter.  Last time he played basketball is before he was diagnosed and he would get random bouts of tummy pain that made him have to sit out at times. Next scan is in December. He still has weekly playdates with his best friend, Mr Alan, and plays daily with his buddy, Christian, who lives down the street.  This is big because Christian would knock on the door daily when Andrew was in really bad shape (from cancer), asking if Andrew could play, and I would have to tell him that Andrew couldn't because he was sleeping (Andrew would come home from school, when he went to school, and crash, sleeping much of the afternoon and then going to bed at 7:30 pm.... his poor little body).  To see Andrew get to play hard outside is a gift we don’t take for granted.
***PRAYER REQUEST- Andrew's next MRI scan is on Dec 23rd, will you please pray for no progression what so ever? Also, Andrew had a lot of tears one night this weekend because he hates having cancer and the fact that he has to take so many meds and if he forgets his meds (like he did one morning last week), he has to deal with unbearable pain. Naturally, he gets discouraged when thinking about what his cancer is up to (is it growing, when will it start to grow again, will I always have cancer, will I die from cancer.....).  He is so rock solid in his faith, but there are moments when the “what if” monster sneaks in and tries to steal his joy and hope.  We all just snuggled him in bed and tried to honor his feelings (we want him to have a safe place to voice those thoughts, so we can help him process those fears and not ever think that having those thoughts makes him any less strong in his faith, brave, or that it’s too much for us to bear) and share with him that the enemy attacks us in the same way.  As a family, we talked through the truths found in scripture, reminded ourselves of who God is (His character), and looked back at ALL that God has seen us through thus far (we know He won’t quit now). These types of conversations are SO hard... like SOOOOO hard (who wants to talk to their baby about their mortality and the sin in the world that he is experiencing first hand), but at the same time... it’s like going to the gym and lifting heavy weights... faith weights. Those conversations spur us on, keep us in fighting shape, recalibrate our hearts, and unite our hearts to the One that is all powerful, all loving, all knowing, and always good. Will you please also pray that Andrew (and the rest of us) would continue to root his hope and joy in the Lord and not be led by a spirit of fear? THANK YOU!!!

GRACE- still loving cheerleading at Apex cheer gym!  She fractured her wrist at cheerleading, so she's out for a couple weeks, but can't wait to go back.  Going to the ER for a normal child injury versus a scare with Grace's heart, lungs, etc, is a little refreshing and gives perspective.  We hate that she hurt herself, but it was like "great, wrap that wrist up and we will be on our way!"  She hasn't let her splint slow her down a bit and she never complains about it.  Grace isn't doing her horse back riding therapy at this time because she is busy doing "therapy" on Otto.  I can't believe how brave she has become.  Otto is much bigger than the pony she use to ride and she rides him all by herself, bareback and all!  She continues to LOVE school and is crushing 1st grade in an inclusion class with support 90 minutes a day (in class) with the amazing Mrs. Jones (she was Grace's aid last year too).

KRISTI- I could use prayers for February 22nd, 3 years since Andrew was diagnosed and that is the timeline his Oncologist gave us for how long he thought Andrew would live.  We have expectant hope and trust that the Lord will make a way for Andrew to live a long life and we'll never stop praying for a miracle of complete healing or that he could live to be an old man with this cancer being managed as a chronic condition versus a life sentence.  In March, it'll be two years since his last round of PRRT (radiation treatment that has never been done in a child before, but it was our only hope) and 2-2.5 years is the median progression free survival in the PRRT studies (the average time when/until a patient progresses).  We use to feel like we would be so grateful if Andrew's disease could be stable for 2-2.5 years, but that time has flown by and I am starting to have a little anxiety; I don't want this sweet time to end, where breakthrough pain isn't a regular part of our every day life, acting as an in your face reminder that his body is riddled with cancer.  We will fight to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and continue to change our "what if's" to "even if's".  #butGod #hopeon #Heisourhope

DAVID- he said he could use prayers in preparing for his goal of running 150 miles in the Snowdrop Ultra 55 hour race at the end of this year.  The difference this year is that he knows what he is getting himself into; therefore, training has not been nearly as enjoyable, as he knows the impending doom coming his way (when ever fiber in your body hurts).

If you have made it to the end of this update, you are AMAZING and we really appreciate your support for our family!  In hopes of making you smile, here is one of my new favorite videos ever (it's only 3 seconds, but it's a great life lesson)... this was taken this weekend at Gigi's Playhouse Sugar Land's Trunk or Treat.

When all else fails... just shake it!!!!!!!!

You're never going to believe this one...

Hellooooo strangers!  I have to start with a giant apology first, every time I quickly post an update on the kids or our family on Facebook, I always intend to post updates on the blog too because I know some of you are not on Facebook, but I inevitably forget every. single. time!  Please forgive me!

The Ross family circus has continued to be full of high wire, trapeze, and lion taming acts, one after another, but God continues to be faithful through it all!  I will give you a super fast run down of what's gone on the past 6 months (sigh... that was so long ago, sorry) and then I really need your prayers and input on a major topic we are praying through.

Abby-  God has called Abby to go to a private Christian school next year (TOTALLY EVIDENCE OF GOD CHANGING HER HEART).  The school is a university model, so she will go to school 3 days a week and homeschool 2 days a week, which will give her a lot more flexibility and time with the family since she is so busy with soccer.  Abby continues to LOVE soccer and is excited about playing on the u13 Dash DA team next year (it's the highest level soccer you can play at her age, so it's been a goal of hers).  She just had her last day of 6th grade on June 6th and the messages I read in her yearbook make me one grateful mama.  A number of kids wrote how much she has impacted their lives in a positive way, helping them to make better choices and care about things that matter.  While she may have just missed national honors society, etc, we continue to affirm her for being a light to those around her.

Grace- she crushed Kindergarten this year, finishing at or exceeding all expectations/requirements for typical developing Kindergarteners.  I couldn't be more proud of her and grateful for everyone that played a role in her success.  So many people (teachers and students alike) pour into her every single day and yet they share how blessed they are by knowing her.  Grace is continuing to ride horses over the summer, will do a couple weeks of summer school, and her favorite of all... have her sissy tutor her.

***HERE IS WHERE WE NEED YOUR PRAYERS AND INSIGHT- Andrew had a great 4th grade year.  He only missed a hand full of days this year because of pain, Dr's appointments, or being sick, which is truly amazing.  His pain has been well controlled, with random spurts of pain here and there that seems to come out of nowhere.  He has had days where he has felt "woozy" mid morning at school, when the nurse has checked his blood sugar it has been low, so she's given him juice and crackers and he has felt better.  It breaks my heart to think that he could be developing diabetes at such a young age because of his cancer, which is obviously impacting his pancreas or as a result of the shot he has to get monthly to try to slow down tumor progression.  We will start checking his glucose more regularly and follow up with his oncologist to come up with a plan, so I'll keep you posted on that.  His next scan is scheduled for June 25th, will you PLEASE pray that his disease continues to be stable?

Andrew has been riding horses for the past year and we have found that it is such a perfect fit for him because it requires exercise, in the sense that he uses his core a whole lot, and it takes a lot of courage (which he has a ton of).  There is something about horses that brings him so much joy, peace, and confidence.  He even loves taking care of the horse before and after he rides.  There are intimate parts of this story that are hard for me to type, so please bear with me... So, we were suppose to go on a Make A Wish trip for Andrew in 2017, but had to reschedule it because Andrew was approved for PRRT treatment right before and we needed to jump on the opportunity, so we rescheduled the trip for 2018.  However, again we had to cancel it because Andrew was in so much pain at the time that we didn't want to take him on a trip that he wouldn't be able to enjoy because he was hunched over and throwing up from pain.  We tabled the Make a Wish trip until we were in a better place, so we just started praying and talking about what Andrew wants to do for his MAW trip again.  You see, the last two times we talked to Andrew about what his wish would be, he was on a ton of pain meds and really not himself in so many ways.  The past 6-7 months have been an experience I will never take for granted... we have seen our boys personality return, since coming off a lot of the really heavy duty pain meds.  It makes my heart ache thinking about the 2 years we spent trying to help Andrew feel as "normal" as possible when his life was anything but normal and it was hard to remember what his personality was really like because the kid in front of us was so often in a manic state (I intended to explain further, but its still a little raw to go there at the moment, so more details to come at a later date).  It was painful to watch his best friend (Abby) fall apart inside over and over as she would try to connect with him like she always had and constantly be faced with the reality that he was just different now.  There was a spoken and unspoken sadness that we were losing our Bubba, our Buddy, My Boy, physically and emotionally.  It was so super hard to reconcile.  All the while, Andrew was still the same great kid, with an amazing heart, but in the battle for his life (literally) and a battle for his sense of self.  He knew he was different, but he couldn't do anything about it (the pain meds were necessary to keep him comfortable).  After his 4th round of PRRT, we felt like we were at a place where we could start weaning him off of some of the crazy, heavy duty pain meds in hopes of getting our boy back (ever so slowly... it was almost a 5 month process to get him off of the really heavy ones) and we were dealing with a lot of rebound pain, etc (we would wean down and have to go back up, try to go down again, and go back up, etc).  During this time he began horse back riding.  It was through horse back riding that we witnessed improved pain control, increased confidence, courage, and so much more in Andrew.

There are 3 more things that weigh on our hearts heavily...  We spend a lot of time on the soccer field with Abby.  It's easy to connect with Abby around soccer because of her passion for it and because we both enjoy sports a lot.  It has been hard to find ways to connect with Andrew (for us and his friends) over the years for various reasons (one obvious one being the different world his pain meds had him in), but the reality is, Andrew doesn't love competitive sports very much (this is probably a blessing, since cancer would keep him from being able to do them in many ways because of the heat and physical exertion, which he can do, but doesn't have near the endurance his peers do), he knows he is different because of his diagnosis (he lives with realities and experiences other kids can't relate to), so we have to be creative in trying to find ways to get into his world.  Horse back riding is one way that we can get into his world!  While we spend a lot of money on Andrew's health, we want to be able to invest time and money into something he loves, since he obviously doesn't love being treated for cancer and that will be his reality as long as he's on this side of heaven, as there isn't a cure for his type of cancer.  This brings me to the biggest and hardest point to type... In many ways, I feel like Andrew's 5th grade year is monumental because February 22nd of this next school year marks the time frame his Oncologist told us he would likely no longer be with us.  I so badly want to forget that statement (in addition to the "we are just kicking the can down the road" statement), but the enemy won't let me; therefore, I have to lay that date, that statement on the alter daily and remind myself that God is the author of this story and nobody else!

This is the place we find ourselves when we began discussing with Andrew what he wanted to do for his MAW trip next year and he says "I don't want to go anywhere, I just really want a horse."  We have tried to sell him on any trip or experience under the sun, but there is no question a horse is the deepest desire of his heart (even when we make the responsibility of a horse sound dreadful).

Here is where you come in, will you please join us in praying about how to handle Andrew's request?  We love the idea of allowing Andrew to be all in on his passion like Abby gets to do with hers and for us to have something we can do alongside Andrew (spend time at the barn, etc) more than just an hour a week.  BUT it sounds SO overwhelming and unrealistic.  While MAW would cover some of the expenses, like the horse and some initial vet bills, etc, this is a long term (expensive) commitment.  It's hard to picture how in the world we could afford the equivalent of another car payment.  In addition to praying for wisdom for us, please pray that God would align Andrew's heart with His will.  Also, we would love any insight y'all have to offer.  If you are a horse person or know someone that is, we would welcome your insight and advice... PLEASE!  You can comment on the blog, message David or I on facebook, email us, or call us.  Thank you for riding this roller coaster with us always!  We are literally sustained by your prayers, so please keep bringing our family before the throne because our God hears, sees, and cares deeply for His children and their requests!  #butGod #hopeon