Grace

Just to catch you up on the precious life of Grace Astrid Ross... We learned at about 28 weeks that Grace has a few heart defects that will require 1-3 heart surgeries during her first 5 years of life. One of those heart defects is very common in babies with down's syndrome, so we were asked constantly if we were interested in having an amniocentesis done and we continued to decline because the results didn't matter to us either way. Grace is ours and we will love and adore her whether she had 46 or 47 chromosomes. At about 34 weeks, at a growth ultrasound, she was measuring in the 5th percentile and had what looked like a clubbed foot. The heart defect, small stature, and clubbed foot made the Dr.'s concerned about two fatal chromosomal abnormalities (Trisomy 18 and 13). Since these chromosomal abnormalities would significantly change the post birth plans (they wouldn't move forward with the heart surgeries, etc) and we wanted the opportunity to prepare Abby and Andrew if their little Sister wasn't going to be coming home, we went ahead with an amnio (NO FUN!). The results were a diagnosis of LIFE... Grace didn't have the fatal chromosomal abnormalities, but she did have Trisomy 21 (down's syndrome). David didn't waver in his excitement or joy for a moment, since he has always said that he wants what God wants, so if that's a baby with down's syndrome and heart defects, that's exactly what he wanted... no more, no less. In some ways it seemed like he was excited that Grace had down's, in fact I'm convinced that if they called and said a mistake was made and she didn't have down's he would have been sad. I on the other hand had some serious issues with fear and questioning what God was up to. After all, I was completely comfortable with 2 kids and didn't feel like we "needed" a third child, however as David and I prayed about it, I felt like the Lord was saying "Kristi, you have given me every part of your life, but you keep hanging onto this one area (having more kids). Do you trust me?" Since our greatest desire is to honor and glorify the Lord with our lives, I agreed to give Him control of whether we had more kids or not (although still mortified) and sure enough two weeks after stopping the pill, He made His will very clear. He had another child that He had created perfectly for our family. The past 4 weeks since finding out about Grace having Down's, God has taught me so much (some lessons super painful and scary, and others sweet as can be). Today I can tell you that by God's grace, I'm grateful for Grace's designer genes and I wouldn't change a thing about her. I finally understand how David has felt this whole time and it is such a treat to be sitting in the center of God's will knowing that He is in full control... like Beaver said in The Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe movie (I'm paraphrasing)... "He is not safe, but He is GOOD!" Now that your caught up on what our journey has been like for the past 9 months, I will be posting an update soon on how our little angel is doing...