Sorry, we've been MIA...

Oh dear, I just looked at the date of the last blog post and realized it has almost been two months since our last update....oops!  So sorry, we don't get to sit down much.

For our non-facebook using friends and family...  here is an update on Andrew that I just posted:

Psalm 71:14–15 (ESV): But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. 15 My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day,
for their number is past my knowledge.

Check out God’s grace displayed in these pictures!!! The picture on the right is Andrew a year ago... still smiling, but his body wearing the effects of stage 4 cancer. The picture on the left is Andrew this morning when I dropped him off at horse camp... same smile, a body still full of cancerous tumors, but by God’s grace the recent prrt treatment he completed has gone to war against these tumors (it’s not a cure, but we pray it will wage war on those tumors for a looong time... forever would be awesome 😉) and allowed his body to do more than just survive, but even thrive. He’s put on about 12 pounds over the past year which is huge for a cancer patient. 

This battle is FAR from over, but we will continue to fight on our knees, trusting our good, good Father daily! Please continue to cover this sweet boy in prayer. Specially that his cancer would remain stable, we would continue to see improvements in pain, and that we can continue to ween down on his crazy pain medication regimen. #butGod!!!

Andrew’s Army (you), your prayers and support are what sustains us! THANK YOU!!!

***of course, just as I had feared...  shortly after I shared this post, Andrew had some tummy pain (although, no where near as bad as it's been in the past).  It felt like such an attack from the enemy, since he had been doing SO good for so long with pain.  I was hesitant to share that post for fear it would stir the hornet's nest and the enemy would get busy, since he certainly doesn't want God to be praised so publicly.  Whether Andrew's pain was the enemy at work or coincidence, it caused me to be confronted with my fear... fear that rushes in like a flash flood anytime Andrew's pain shows up....  his pain is an in your face reminder that he has cancer and I can't help but let my mind go to dark places like "does this mean the cancer is spreading?," etc, but the song "Fear is a Liar" is a great reminder of fears proper place and name.  Fear is a liar!  It belongs in the fire where God will burn off all the impurities (lies) and lead you to what is true.  That is the place where "But God" reigns.  But God doesn't adhere to what makes sense in my finite mind (pain = cancer is spreading)...  He is bigger than my problem and He already has a solution for what I'm going through and what lays ahead, etc.  Soooo much easier said than done, but what are you fearful of?  What stops you in your steps, steals your breath, robs you of your rest, and your happiness?  Read the lyrics to this song and I pray it helps you put fear in its proper place too!

When he told you you're not good enough
When he told you you're not right
When he told you you're not strong enough
To put up a good fight
When he told you you're not worthy
When he told you you're not loved
When he told you you're not beautiful
That you'll never be enough

Fear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
'Cause fear he is a liar

When he told you were troubled
You'll forever be alone
When he told you you should run away
You'll never find a home
When he told you you were dirty
And you should be ashamed
When he told you you could be the one
That grace could never change

Fear he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear, he is a liar

-Grace has been doing tutoring at Gigi's Playhouse a couple times a week and anytime she's not at Gigi's, she's begging Abby to tutor her.  Here is a glimpse of a typical day in the Ross household...  Abby will tutor Grace in reading for 30-45 minutes and at the conclusion Grace will say " aaaand now...  math tutoring time" (picture this in her joyful little voice).  When math tutoring is over, she will say "aaaand now.... writing tutoring time!"  I'm so grateful that Grace loves tutoring so much, especially with her Sissy (even if she wears her sissy down a bit 🤣) .  At least Grace appreciates all her sissy's time and investment in her, when she lost her 2nd tooth and got candy and 50 cents from the tooth fairy, she gave her 50 cents to Abby and said "here you go Abby, this is for tutoring me."  When not tutoring, Grace can be found playing How to Train a Dragon, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings with Andrew.  Welcome to Grace's world!

-Andrew just finished horseback riding camp this past week, which he LOVED!  He asked to keep riding horses during the school year, so we are going to give it a go!  I'm praying it will be something that gives him confidence, relieves any stress he is hanging on to, and maybe even helps with pain in some way.  Andrew has also started violin lessons with his favorite music teacher.  He has always (since he was a little guy) been interested in the violin, so the fact that he's actually getting to try it and with a teacher that loves him like her own is, well, a big, giant blessing! 

-An area we are struggling in with Andrew is in math.  Andrew is a very smart kid, despite being on drugs all day everyday, and lacking a whole lot of motivation; however, math (specifically his multiplication facts) has been SO hard for him to learn and retain.  David works with him daily and has tried so many different strategies to try and help him, but it is a constant battle.  David has put a lot of time and energy into researching possible problems and solutions.  We hope to have him tested for Dyscalculia (basically dyslexia, but for math) and or anything else that could be the issue because we are desperate to help him.  I hate to see Andrew struggle so much with something that should come so much easier, but then again I have to be honest, it's the least of our concerns (in the big picture).  I'm grateful to have a normal kid kind of concern, but then we battle the thoughts...  how much do his grades really matter any way, there's no telling how long God will keep him on this earth, so do we spend a ton of energy focusing on something that at the end of the day may not even matter that much (see that's the enemy) or do we raise him as if he is going to live a long life and be an old man?  We choose the latter until God says otherwise, but I would be lying if I didn't say I have to fight the temptation to feel like we are wasting precious time on something frivolous.  Wow!  I just probably overwhelmed you with the roller coster my brain lives on.  Sorry!  I'm just grateful that this roller coster docks at the platform of truth (what God has to say about it all)!

This is how I feel about math😜.  No really, this is the kids at Mrs. Kathy and Mr. Alan's house being silly on one of there many fun playdates.

-Abigail continues to play a ton of soccer in addition to work out at F45 (which she absolutely LOVES), where David and I love to work out too.  Abby and her team won a 3V3 tournament this weekend where her team won the championship and we got to hang out with some of our favorite Pine Cove counselors!  Abby went to a pretty amazing soccer training/camp a couple weeks ago.  Here is a Facebook post I made about it:

3v3 champions!

Hoot Smash and Trap being silly with the Rosslings!

There is something so unique and special about your Pine Cove family!  Love these girls!

Abby hates to miss getting to work out at F45!  I don't blame her, that place not only helps you get strong, but they make it SO fun!

She's got some hops like her Daddy!

This pic is Abby in a nutshell...  She is on the right looking fierce and determined to beat her dear friend Annabella in a race.  These girls are super close friends, but watching them go head to head on the soccer field might lead you to believe otherwise :-).  I'm just glad they are on the same team!

Abigail made some amazing memories and grew a lot (in soccer of course, but also emotionally and spiritually) at the Region III Olympic Development Program (ODP) Camp in Alabama this week! Those that know my girl well know that she hates to be away from her immediate family and who could blame her really (she has had far too many experiences where she wakes up in the morning to find out that one of her sibling has had to go to the ER, or our family is forced to be split up because one of her siblings is in the hospital, and being faced with the mortality of those she loves most day in and day out)... The girls stayed in the dorms at University of Montevallo (which was beautiful by the way), so Abby struggled some with wanting to stay with me in a hotel instead of the dorms (which obviously wasn’t an option), but she learned to lean in hard to the Lord and fight that fear with truth. The girls received high-level training from college coaches and competed against other Region III state ODP teams from Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina and Louisiana. Overall it was a great experience and I couldn’t be more proud of this sweet girl!

Abby's Andrew's Army symbol she writes on her wrist anytime she plays soccer!

Flight delays can actually be fun when with great friends!

As I mentioned Abby struggled with being away from me during this trip (she stayed in the dorms while I stayed in a hotel and cam to watch her scrimmages and some training, but didn't get to talk to her in person for more than a couple minutes twice a day).  She talked to her counselor about her experience and what we learned is that she is insecure about  being away from us because if she has eyes on David or I then she is assured that everything is ok (with her siblings, etc).  For some reason I thought this trip to Alabama was going to be super relaxing for me, but it was far from what I had envisioned.  Helping Abby process her feelings was emotionally exhausting and my sweet friend and I did a lot of driving back and forth twice a day( 35 minutes each way) to watch the girls play when ever we could, staying up late, and getting up early, but it was all worth it.  Abby got to learn from some amazing soccer trainers, but most of all she got to practice her mental game (setting her mind on what is true), and we made some amazing memories.  We leave in a week and a half for California where Abby and her team will play in the Surf Cup in San Diego and we will (Lord willing) get to see friends, the beach, Disneyland, Legoland, etc.  

-Last but not least, Family Camp!  Here is my Facebook post about Family Camp:

Pine Cove Crier Creek Family Camp was a little slice of heaven! This would have been our 7th year, but we had to miss last year because Grace was busy having her 6th open heart surgery. This year was so different than previous years because we were just crazy grateful to even get to go back to Family Camp this year (our life’s normal shenanigans didn’t keep us from being able to make it) that we didn’t have any expectations, worry about logistics/what everyone would wear for theme nights, etc. Instead we just enjoyed and soaked in all the sweet memories. 

We certainly got to see God’s tender hand in the details this past week in so many ways... it rained the first 3 days (but didn’t thunder or lightening, so none of our activities were interrupted), cooling down the temperature and slowing the pace down a bit which helped Andrew out tremendously. Andrew was assigned the most amazing counselor who’s sole responsibility was to hang with/take care of Andrew, and he did just that in a way that was perfectly suited for Andrew (they went inside to play games or read Lord of the Rings when it was too hot outside for Andrew or in an effort to get Andrew to rest a little, etc). The biggest blessing (that truly felt like a miracle) was the fact that Andrew had ZERO pain all week despite the late nights, early mornings, Texas summer heat, and the exhaustion that comes from having so much fun all day everyday 🙌🏻! The girls also had super awesome counselors that have left a powerful impact on all of our lives.

I’m praying everyone of you will get to experience something like Family Camp someday because it is truly nourishing, refreshing, and overall a great reset each year for our family! #HeisthegoodShepherd #butGod#crazygrateful #weloveourPCfamily

If you are looking for a vacation that will draw your whole family closer together, closer to the Lord, build a lifelong bond with some AMAZING counselors (who you want your kiddos to look up to as what they are aspiring to be in college), and families, laugh a lot, even cry a little, do rad activities like zip lining, horse back riding, wake boarding, and ultimately recalibrate your heart as to what really matters in life than please do yourself a favor and sign up for Family Camp!!!

 Grace's Character Quality was "Loving"

Grace aspires to be a counselor too (just like Bubba and Sissy).  This is one of the many chants she loves to do (Wild Kids is the group she was in at camp :-)

Love the extra time with my man..  especially playing pickle ball in the pouring rain while most other couples relax.  This guy doesn't know much about relaxing 😂

 Presley Pepper (this little girl is every Ross Family members favorite little person) and her family/our dear friends!

 The counselors...  The most God honoring college kids your will ever meet!

Pine Cove summarized in one picture!  I couldn't find Andrew one morning and as I looked off in the distance I found him.... being prayed over by his amazing counselor, Spewie! 

All kinds of updates...

David here...

On our last post, we didn't have time to do this event justice, so we saved it until we had a few more minutes to write about it.  We were blessed by an overwhelmingly gracious fundraiser some friends (and new friends) did on our behalf.  This group of high school friends began getting together for Houston Astros' opening day a few years back.  As years went on, their opening day group continually grew.  Eventually, this great group of people decided to make a fundraiser out of it and the last two years they have decided to make that fundraiser in support of a specific family.  By the grace of God, they decided this year to choose our family to be the recipient of their generosity.  We were blown away and humbled by the willingness of these kind people to be used by God to bless our family in a manner that we would have never expected.  Thank you so much to everyone who showed up to the opening day Astros game and fundraiser!!!  We are so grateful!!!

Last weekend, we had the opportunity to attend the annual Triumph Over Kid Cancer (TOKC) golf tournament and Toga party in Corpus Christi.  Last year, Andrew was asked by this organization to be James' "Wingman."  For those who are unaware, James Regan started TOKC when he was diagnosed with Sarcoma at the age of 12.  He battled cancer for 9 years before he won the battle and left this earth for his heavenly home.  Every year since then, TOKC has chosen a child also battling cancer to be James' "Wingman."  This year, we headed back to Corpus Christi to support the event and be a presence and voice for the organization in whatever capacity we were able to (which means I let Kristi do all the talking).  The kids had a blast, enjoyed some fun time on the beach, and Grace danced the night away from 8pm-1am (if you ever need someone to help get a dance party started, we will rent Grace to you).  Andrew impressed us all with the confidence he exuded as he walked around the party all night (totally independently, we didn't know where he was most of the time) acting as a true ambassador.  We would find him talking to people he knows and many he doesn't know about his journey with cancer or just life in general.  We couldn't have been more proud of him!

Andrew kicked off the Golf Tournament by hitting the first ball!

Andrew getting some pointers from a pro, 

 VIP party

Andrew was proud of his creation, Meatball Man...  he got to share his vision for Meatball Man with the Oscar Award winning director (and super nice guy with a huge heart), Andy Sacks :-)

Sweet Anna was James' oncology nurse and the reason we were connected with TOKC!

Some beach fun!

Corpus has this brilliant program where they provide bags so you can pick up litter along the beach. Abby and I actually had some serious fun cleaning up the beach!

Toga Party fun!

Post Toga Party (this is in the hotel lobby at 1:30 am)!

Check out this awesome doll house my Father in Love made for the silent auction!

And just like that, the Spring season comes to an end for both Andrew's first flag football season and Abigail's soccer season (although soccer never really ends because Abby still has tournaments throughout the Summer and will continue to attend any soccer training available).  Andrew has enjoyed playing football for the first time, but at the same time he is glad it is almost done and it doesn't sound like he is all too eager to play again anytime soon (glad we checked that box).  Abigail's first year playing with the Houston Dash has been great!  Her team finished first place in the top division in both the Fall and Spring seasons.  At this point, she still loves soccer and will play any chance she can get.  It has been great getting to know some new families this year and build new friendships on the sidelines.

Grace has been taking ballet and tap this Spring and her end of the year dance recital is coming up next week.  She loves going to dance each week!  She listens well, has a joyful attitude, and has grown so much in her abilities.  We are amazed at what she is able to accomplish and grateful she will be able to actually participate in the recital this year.  Just think, last year around this time Grace was in the hospital for a week leading up to her sixth open heart surgery at the end of May of 2017.

This is what you get at dress rehearsal when you tell Grace to pose...

Kristi here...

And... as football and soccer wind down (well, not soccer really), both Andrew and Abigail are doing Summer swim team again.  In the past month, Abigail has probably made it to a total of 2 or 3 swim practices (out of probably 20 or more) because of soccer, so she is content knowing that swim is just for fun and not "her sport" (this is big for her because you know she is a highly motivated, super passionate, and competitive kid).  She has even really embraced the fact that it's actually a great thing that this is one sport that Andrew is better at than her because it builds his confidence (getting smoked by your sister all the time isn't always fun ;-).  Andrew isn't the fastest or slowest on his team, he is right in the middle and, to be honest, regardless of what he does in that pool, every time he races, deep down I'm screaming "Boom....  you crushed that race, nobody else in that pool is battling the hell out of stage 4 cancer!", but of course those are inside thoughts, I would never say that out loud... writing doesn't count and y'all know my heart, right? :-)

Andrew and I got to go on a Mother/Son date which was, in Andrew's words "his best night ever!"  Which in turn makes it my best night too!!! He was such a gentleman and seeing him dance his heart out with me and with his friends was more than my heart could handle!

My handsome date!

Grateful a friend caught this special moment!

We are sweaty, but with full hearts!

Abigail had her 5th grade performance this week.  We can't believe it is her last elementary school performance! We were so proud of her for doing such a great job despite the fact she was not happy about having to wear a big bow and use pom-poms.  That sporty girl does have some pretty good moves :-).

Grace had a big first...  she lost her first tooth!!!  She was so excited for the Tooth Fairy to come and bring her a coin like Peppa Pig got when she lost a tooth ;-)

We celebrated Abigail's birthday on Thursday!  She is 11 going on 31 because she is such a wise old soul.  She is our tender-hearted, soccer loving, loyal, selfless, fierce, oh so generous, hard working, thoughtful, passionate, and most importantly God loving and fearing little angel!

Celebrating this sweetie on her birthday and this is what you get when you ask David to take a picture!

Andrew got Abby a new soccer ball!

 When Abby was 2 years old she started a tradition of getting her Bubba something for her birthday because when we asked her what she wanted for her birthday, all she would say is to get Andrew something.  We agreed to letting her get Andrew something just so she would tell us what she wanted... it's been a tradition ever since.

She got Andrew a quill (like in Harry Potter)...  his face explains it all!

***Update on Andrew-  since his last PRRT treatment in early March, Andrew's pain has been very well controlled, to the point that we have even started cutting back on some of his 8 pain meds which had been very exciting.  We ditched one pain med all together and have been slowly weaning him down on one of the opioids.  This small adjustment in pain meds has allowed us to see glimpses of the Andrew we know (prior to being on heavy duty pain meds around the clock) and to say that it has been a giant blessing is an understatement.  It has been very odd that the terrible awful pain hadn't appeared on the scene yet (following the pattern it has after previous treatments), so I began getting hopeful that maybe the pain would somehow go away and stay away (although, in the back of my head I knew it was more than likely right around the corner).  Over the past two and a half months, I have grown to love and appreciate the absence of any break-through pain... I had forgotten what it's like to have a life that resembles a little teeny tiny bit of "normalcy" (not having a clear and present reminder daily that your kids body is full of tumors), but that little vacation has come to an abrupt halt over the past couple weeks as we have seen the pain make it's presence known.  One praise is that, so far, it hasn't been the terrible awful pain that has made him throw up, but it is bad enough to make him miserable.

We spent the day yesterday at the soccer field ALL DAY and it was humid and HOOOOOTTTTT!!!  Andrew and Grace went to the morning game and then went to David's parents house for the rest of the day so they could cool off in the pool, etc (since both of them can get overheated pretty easy).  We intended to go to dinner on our way home from the tournament, however, I could tell Andrew was probably experiencing some pain based on his pink cheeks and the way he was sitting.  When the pain gets really bad, he can't eat anything, so I thought I was being creative when I asked him if he would eat if we stopped for dinner (since I knew if I asked him if his tummy hurt, he would say just a little, but not bad), so I was surprised when he said yes he would and that he wanted to stop and sit down to eat.  It wasn't long after we were seated and started playing some of the games on his kids menu that I new where we were headed...  he was trying so hard not to show anyone that he was in a lot of pain because he never wants us to not do something because of him.  I hate going out to eat when he's in pain because I can't enjoy myself knowing he is miserable (we have left many restaurants before ordering or boxed our food up and took it home because we want him to be comfortable in his bed, not having to lay on my lap or with his head on the table in pain).  His food came and of course he couldn't touch it by then because the pain was so bad, so we went and sat in the car, so he could try to fall asleep.  My heart was crushed in a million pieces because the weight of my baby having stage 4 cancer hit me like a ton of bricks.  I've been learning how to carry those bricks daily (the giant tower of bricks always feels off balance, like the stack of bricks could come crashing down at any moment... sort of like the game jenga).  On the hour drive home I held back tears as I contemplated and experienced the exhaustion, brokenness, and frustration about the fact that nothing in our life ever goes the "easy way".  In addition to all that comes with having a child with stage 4 cancer....  For Abigail, I feel like she is so often the underdog (always having to prove herself being so small, etc),  Grace's INR (blood thinner levels) has been way off (too low, which puts her at risk for a stroke) for no good reason, we've been in the thick of preparing for and having her ARD meeting (which are always a reminder of your kiddos deficits... and strengths of course, but plain and simple, it's a reminder as a special needs parent that your journey is far from "normal" and you always have to be on your toes), and with the busyness of our life/circus, David and I could be doing a better job of feeding our marriage.  I fought back tears on the drive home because I try to be cautious about when I allow myself to break down in front of the kids (they absolutely see me cry and we sometimes have a good cry together, but I try to be prayerful about when and how often I let them experience that because I'm very aware as to how much my emotions impact them).  When I got home I grabbed the dog (since she had been in the house all day and needed to get out too) and went for a walk where I had a good cry and listened to worship music.  I came home feeling much better and ready to get back on the battlefield, but still physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.  As God and I wrestled about why it has to be so hard, I asked Him to speak to me clearly, helping me to see His hand.  Just as our faithful Father always does, He did just that this morning at church.  He revealed to me that I have allowed fear to have a stronghold on me despite the fact that I know better and I didn't even realize that fear, like cockroaches, were hiding in the dark crevices of my life (yuck.... I hate that analogy I just went with because I despise cockroaches, but then again I despise fear too, so we will stick with it).  Like the song we sang at church this morning, fear is a liar!!!  It takes our breath away and stops us in our steps...  I can't tell you how many times my breath is literally knocked out of me and I keep from falling to my knees because fear is one of our enemies favorite weapons in his attempts to kill and destroy us (thats what the Bible says Satan's mission is).  I don't understand why our life has to be so messy, but what I do know is that God knows.... our suffering is not in vein, His perfect will is somehow being accomplished through it all and while I may not always understand it, I can trust His heart.  When I put into perspective how big our God is and how much He loves us, it makes our earthly problems so much more managable and I'm freed up to experience joy in the suffering.  One of the many ways He covers us with His grace is by sending faithful troops to come alongside of us and speak into our lives.  I made a Facebook post last night asking for prayer and so many of you responded with words of encouragement and commitments to cover us in prayer (although I trust and know that so many of you pray daily for our family, which I can't thank you enough for).  I fell asleep shortly after posting that message, so I woke up to your comments, which caused me to weep as I read them because I didn't even really know how much I needed y'all in that moment.  Then, at church we were encouraged to let the Spirit lead in terms of what He wanted to say to us (whether it was meant for us or a nudge to encourage someone else).  During this time David and I were standing up and along the wall as part of the prayer ministry (for anyone needing prayer), which left Abby sitting by herself in her seat (Andrew and Grace were both in children's ministry).  I knew Abby would be fine sitting there by herself, however the Lord led some sweet ladies to one at a time walk over and talk to and pray for her.  This picture served as a powerful reminder that God never leaves us alone (even though this journey can sometimes feel lonely because your life looks so different than most, not because people aren't around.... in fact we have the best support system EVER).  Then, there are the words that some shared with us or prayed over us...  all of this (and more) God used to set our feet back on solid ground and get back on the battlefield.

***Prayer requests-  will you please pray that Andrew's pain won't get any worse (in intensity and frequency) and above all that his scans on June 12th (we won't get the results until our appointment on June 13th) will reveal nothing but GREAT news (no progression what so ever, and lots of regression and dead cancer)?  Grace has an echo this Friday, will you please pray that her heart looks super happy (no concerns what so ever)? And above all, that God would get all the glory!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the ways in which you come along side of us!!!

Here is a nugget I took away from todays sermon at church...  I encourage each of you to join me in praying this for yourself "Lord, let me know more about you, believe everything I know, and let me live like it's true."